ave
you noticed what is happening today with our children?
They are hooked on gadgets. Even those who are just two
years old are becoming fixated on having a gadget in
their hands at all times. It seems as though courtesy
and interpersonal dialogue are gradually being replaced
with the swipe and touch of a gadget. Smart phones,
iPads, Kindles, etc., have replaced face-to-face
emotional bonding between human beings—so it seems.
Yes, I am excited how little children and teenagers
have become comfortable with the new world of gadgets
and have easily included them into their every-day
living. They are making “friends” and learning new
things. However, there is something wrong, terribly
wrong, that is happening with this new trend and I am
not sure how it will impact society in the next fifty
years.
The use of gadgets for the playing of games, texting,
messaging and social media, seem to be so mesmerizing
that it is literally replacing common courtesies and
time needed for face-to-face dialogue. Teenagers are
more comfortable texting each other even when they are
sitting in the same room or even side by side. I have
had the privilege of traveling as a guest speaker to
several Caribbean islands, the United States of America
and Europe and I have seen the same behavior displayed
by little children and teenagers. It seems to be
universal.
I’ve been told about five-year-old children while being
taken to school by their parents would be walking from
the house to the car playing with a gadget. All the way
to school in the car they continue playing, never once
looking up to enjoy the beauty of nature and the ride.
Then, when they reach school, they do not look up and
observe what is happening around them. Instead, they
continue to play the game from the car door to the
classroom, and will
continue until the class begins (if allowed). I have
even seen children walking to their homes from the bus
and go directly through the front door of their homes
with their heads down busy sliding and swiping their
gadgets. They do not even say “good afternoon” or
“hi.” Their hands and brains are always busy. There
is no down time and that is what’s dangerous. While
eating or watching TV they are sliding and swiping. Once
again, I am not against the use of these gadgets. I am
seriously concerned about the seemingly never-ending use
of them. Far too many young children and teenagers
would remain on these gadgets from sunrise to sleep
time. That is dangerous. It is not healthy for the
brain and learning and retention.
In the New York Times online Business Technology section
(August 24, 2013), writer Matt Richtel, states that
“scientists point to an unanticipated side effect of
this kind of exposure: when people keep their brains
busy with digital input, they are forfeiting downtime
that could allow them to better learn and remember
information, or come up with new ideas.” This unstop
digital feeding of the brain prevents real learning.
The brain needs down times to learn. Matt Ritchtel
sites University of California’s research finding that
states “Almost certainly, downtime lets the brain go
over experiences it had, solidify them and turn them
into permanent long-term memories,” said Loren Frank,
assistant professor in the department of physiology at
the university, where he specializes in learning and
memory. He said he believed that when the brain was
constantly stimulated, “you prevent this learning
process.”
PARENTS ARE GUILTY TOO
Don’t think that only little children and teenagers are
guilty of this gadget overload. Parents are guilty
too. Far too many parents are so glued to their
computers, iPads, smart phones, that they cannot even
hear the calls from their children. If they do hear,
the response would be: “Give me a minute. I am busy.”
The truth is many minutes would pass leaving the child
discouraged.
It seems as though
digital technology is designed to mesmerize us.
Nir Eyal, states in his article "Four Reasons You're
Addicted to Technology" the following: "The
technologies themselves, and their makers, are the
easiest suspects to blame for our dwindling attention
spans. Nicholas Carr, author of “The Shallows: What the
Internet Is Doing to Our Brains,” wrote, “The net is
designed to be an interruption system, a machine geared
to dividing attention. . . .Online services like
Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, Instagram, Buzzfeed and the
like are called out as masters of manipulation — making
products so good, people can’t stop using them."
Note what Sherry Turkle, director of the Massachusetts
Institute of Technology Initiative on Technology and
Self, discovered in her research about the effects of
parents choosing gadgets over their children. “She has
found that feelings of hurt, jealousy and competition
are widespread. . . . Over and over, kids raised the
same three examples of feeling hurt and not wanting to
show it when their mom or dad would be on their devices
instead of paying attention to them: at meals, during
pickup after either school or an extracurricular
activity, and during sports
events.”
Parents, you are doing harm to the relationship with
your child by allowing gadgets to distract you from
spending time with them or listening to them. I would
not be surprised if in fifty years psychologists develop
a term like “digital alienation syndrome” to describe
the emotional and intellectual crises developed due to
over use of digital gadgets.
WHAT TO DO?
Here are a few things to help what I call “digital
alienation syndrome.”
-
Parents, first turn off the gadget and spend time
with your children. Pay attention to your child’s
cry for help.
-
Restrict the times your child will have a gadget
with which to play. Remember that your child can
learn more from playing outside in the yard for one
hour than sitting for hours playing a game on a
smart phone.
-
Do not allow your child to have a gadget in his or
her hand while talking to adults, in meetings, or
while walking to a destination. Require them to
turn it off and pay full attention.
-
Select certain hours each week when there will be a
down time when no gadget will be used, even the
television.
-
Make sure you know and approve what games or
activities your child is using on the gadget.
Barrington H. Brennen is a marriage and family therapist
and board certified clinical psychotherapist, USA. Send
your questions or comments to
question@soencouragement.org or
write to P.O. Box CB-13019, Nassau, The Bahamas, or
visit www.soencouragement.org or
call 1-242-327-1980 or 1-242-477-4002
