2.
Recommended Movies to Watch.
Movies can often have a great impact on
relationships that are starving for romance or
dealing with other problems. The following movies,
I believe, speak directly to two of the most common
problems in marriage: lack of romance or putting the
job above the marriage and sexual infidelity.
-
·
“Preacher’s Wife,”
starring Denzel Washington and Whitney Houston.
-
·
“A Vow to Cherish,”
available at any local Christian book store in
VHS or DVD format.
3. Permanent Features in Your Marriage.
Based on research and my experience working with
hundreds of couples, the following features are most
important in keeping the fires burning in romantic
relationships.
·
Have a date night once a
week. Every week there should be at
least one night the couple spends time together with
no one else involved--not even the children.
·
Kiss for at least 5 to 20
seconds each day.
This can really work
miracles.
·
Make one compliment about your spouse every day.
·
Show appreciation to your spouse at least once every
day.
·
Hug each other at least
twice a day. Make sure it is intentional
and warm. Please hug a lot without sex on the
agenda. This is very important.
·
Dance together privately in
your home. This can really demonstrate
the warmth and passion you feel for each other.
Dancing publicly often means nothing to a romantic
relationship. However, dancing privately while
holding your partner close to you when no one is
watching requires an intense closeness and desire
for each other.
·
Have daily family/couple
devotion. This creates a solid spiritual
foundation.
·
Sit together in church
regularly or as often as you can. Do not
have the children sitting between you. Sit them on
opposite sides.
·
Spend time having fun
together at least once a week. This
strengthens the friendship in the relationship. Go
to watch a game together. Play a game at home
together. Watch a funny movie together. Have a pop
corn fight. Whatever it is, have fun. Lots of it.
Laugh together.
4. The
Seven Basic Ingredients for a Healthy
Marriage.
The following ingredients are crucial to making a
marriage loving and meaningful:
-
Humility. This is the willingness and
freedom to admit wrong, say "I am
sorry," lead together, adjust, change,
forgive and receive forgiveness.
-
Knowing and understanding each other’s
needs and knowing how to meet them. To
know the ten basic needs in marriage
read the book “His Needs Her Needs. In
my opinion, this is really the most
important ingredient in happy marriages.
-
Effective communication and good
conflict resolution skills. Learning
how to effectively handle conflict and
how to prevent the many unnecessary
arguments are most important in a
healthy relationship.
-
Listening with the heart and not just
with the head. Too many spouses do not
truly listen to their partners. Some
tune out what they do not want to hear.
Others have selective amnesia. Still
others assume and add their own meaning
to what said, not is allowing the other
person to clarify. This is painful and
destructive to a relationship.
-
Have a spirit of humility. This is a
willingness to adjust and a teachable
spirit. This is really an important
secret to a joyful marriage. Spouses who
know it all, are stubborn, cannot
change, or are too proud to admit wrong,
are a pain in the neck. They prevent
progress and healing in a wounded
relationship.
-
Commitment to a nonjudgmental attitude.
When a spouse admits doing wrong and is
forgiven by his/her partner, the
forgiver must leave the wrong alone.
Never bring it up again.
-
Being a committed spouse, each other’s
intimate friend, lover, and sweetheart.
-
Having a harmonious couple financial
plan. Money mismanagement is a big
source of contention in marriage. The
happiest couples are those who have a
joint financial plan.