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The
Duet of Marriage
Marriage is not a solo, it is a "duet" between a man and a
woman singing together around the piano of unconditionally
loving and acceptance. Each spouse produces a distinct tone.
A healthy marriage occurs when these two individuals, over
time, have learned how to blend sweetly their individual
"tones" (differences, likes, dislikes, attitudes and
behaviors) to form another unique and special harmonious
sound–the marriage harmony.
THE HARMONY
A duet is only made possible because each individual comes
to the piano of marriage with the ability to stand alone
with his or her own sound. Many have agreed to "sing the
duet" of marriage, but they have not been able to form
harmony. Although forming the duet of marriage is instant,
having occurred on the wedding day, the harmony of marriage,
though, is not by default. It does not occur at the altar.
It does not occur on the honeymoon. It is not automatic. A
harmonious marriage is the result of years of practice,
patience, growing, adjusting, and performing. It usually
takes between five and ten years for a couple to learn how
to blend harmoniously.
A PLEASING EFFECT
The
dictionary defines harmony as "the combination of
simultaneously sounded musical notes to produce chords and
chord progressions having a pleasing effect." It is similar
in marriage. Harmony in marriage is a description of a
sweet, pleasing, effectiveness, brought on by a willingness
and openness on the part of both performers.
 As
a little boy, I was fascinated with the music of one of the
world’s oldest quartets–the Kings Heralds. I grew up
listening to them, and in particular, admiring the deep rich
bass voice of Jim McClintock. The quartet had a smooth blend
that penetrated the coldest heart. After 15 years of singing
with the quartet, my favorite bass singer, Jim McClintock,
retired and a new bass joined the group: Jim Ayers. Jim has
an extremely rich, deep bass.
When
he talks, your toes tinkle. Although he is a great soloist
and has a beautiful voice, it took him at least one entire
year to learn how to sing harmoniously with the quartet. At
first, his voice was distinctly heard above the others’.
However, when listening to the quartet today, you can hear
all four parts clearly; but neither voice is standing out as
a sore thumb. They have learned how to blend. So should
marriage partners.
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in-law,
grandfather of four, and a lover of people. He goal in life
is to "help people smile again."
