Is Your Lover Loving You?
Question: Dear Sir: How can I know if my marriage is healthy? I believe that I may not be getting maximum benefit from my marital relationship. Signed: Want Marital Enrichment.
Answer: Dear friend, we all want to have happy, healthy relationships. Many of us are not aware what wonderful benefits marriage can bring to the personal life. Many seem to be satisfied with their dull and mediocre marriages. Here is a quiz used in a research project by three marriage and family specialists (Howard Markman, Scott Stanley & Susan Blumberg) that can help you to decide how healthy is your marriage. These questions focus on the best predictors of marital distress and divorce:
MARITAL QUIZ ONE
Let me add a few more questions that have emerged from my interaction with couples.
MARITAL QUIZ TWO
Here is another short form quiz that let you know if your lover is loving you. Answer the questions by placing one of the following numbers in the blank the question.
1 = No at all. 2 = Some of the time. 3 = All of the time
1. ____ My partner is affectionate enough
2. ____ My partner really cares for me.
3. ____ I feel that I would choose the same partner if I had to do it over again.
4. ____ I feel that I can trust my partner.
5. ____ I feel our relationship is a good one.
6. ____ We have a lot of fun together.
7. ____ Ours is a close relationship
8. ____ I feel that we have enough interest in common.
9. ____ My partner is a real comfort to me.
10.___ I feel there is no excitement in our relationship
11.___ I feel that our sex life is lacking quality.
12.___ My partner seems to avoid sexual contact with me.
13.___ I feel that my sex life is boring.
14.___ I dream of my partner in bed with me.
Dear friends, choose a quiet time with your spouse when you can objectively answer these questions. Everyone may occasionally answer yes to some of these questions, but a persistent pattern of yes answers over time can be a warning signal that a relationship needs help. If you answered in the negative to at least thirty percent of these questions, you may need to seek professional help. Do you best to be a true lover to your partner.