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Barrington
H. Brennen |
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The workplace
should be emotionally safe for both employees and employers. However, far
too many people do not feel so safe on the job. There are countless
reports of verbal and sometimes physical conflicts and intimidations.
Perhaps the most insidious and common kind of problem on the job is sexual
harassment. It is a problem that is very difficult, painful, and often
times embarrassing to talk about. Too often, it remains unchallenged
because of threats, shame, intimidation, and severe abuse of power.
WHAT IS
SEXUAL HARASSMENT?
In an article
I wrote in May of 2009, I defined sexual harassment as: “Unsolicited
physical contact and advances toward someone. A demand or request for
sexual favors; sexually-colored remarks with colleagues on the job; showing
pornography; and any other unwelcomed physical, verbal or non-verbal conduct
of a sexual nature.”
Interestingly, the victim could be the person harassed as well as anyone
affected by the offensive conduct. Has your boss ever stopped by and rubbed
your shoulders while he "checked out the work you were doing?” Or does your
co-worker constantly stop by to flirt with you? A comment like, "Wow, you
have sexy lips" can be sexual harassment.
WHAT IS THE
PROBLEM?
Why is
recognizing or reporting sexual harassment so difficult? First of all the
relationships we have in the workplace are a major part of our lives. It
seems to be inevitable that inter-personal relations of some kind develop on
the job. Not only do we go to work to earn a living, we also go to work
for the social aspects of relating with people. Hence, the risk of sexual
harassment is great on the job when this natural need for interpersonal
relationships occurs where there are insecure, emotionally needy,
flirtatious persons without proper personal boundaries. One author states
“Like every other kind of intimacy, the workplace variety brings with it the
likelihood of sexual attraction. It is natural. It is inevitable,
hard-wired as we are to respond to certain kinds of stimuli, although it
sometimes comes as a surprise to those it strikes.”
According to
one international study, 9% of employees indicated that they had a romantic
relationship on the job, but an additional 33% said they didn’t. On the
other hand, 58% of employees said that they did not have a romantic
encounter on the job but were willing to have one. Wow!
The workplace
is also made up of persons who either experience conflicted relationships at
home or are hungry for an innocent loving touch or a listening ear. If
these persons are not aware of their own vulnerability, they will be
high-risk targets for sexual harassment. They would not even know they are
being sexually harassed until the direct requests for sexual favors are put
forward. The gentle touching, lingering handshakes, warm embraces at the
beginning of the day, walking together with hands around the waists, sitting
on each other’s lap, eating alone in the cafeteria would seem to be so
innocent. But would these gestures really be innocent? To the unsuspecting
persons, these friendly gestures might well be a set up that may prove
difficult to overcome.
STATISTICS
In my 2009
article, I
presented the following alarming universal statistics: 31% of female
workers claim to have been harassed at work 7% of male workers claim to have
been harassed at work; 62% of targets took no action; 100% of women claim
the harasser was a man; 59% of men claim the harasser was a woman; 41% of
men claim the harasser was another man. In The Bahamas more and more
persons are reporting sexual harassment.
Return to
this column next week when I will explore the characteristics of a harasser,
what employers can do, and more information about sexual harassment.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
Barrington
Brennen is a marriage and family therapist. Send your comments or questions
to
barringtonbrennen@gmail.com , or call
1242 327 1980 or visit
www.soencouragement.org
or write P.O. Box CB-13019, Nassau, The Bahamas
