The following article is in honor of my parents, Mary and
Alfred Brennen, who celebrate 51 golden years of marriage. They were married
on July 18, 1951. This article was published in the Nassau
Guardian. Click HERE for
the sermon I preached at a special service in their honor on Saturday, July 20,
2002, at the Grant's Town Seventh-day Adventist Church, Nassau, Bahamas.
The sermon title is "The couple that
eats Johnny Cake sticks together." See
Luncheon Photos
- The Secret of 51 Golden Years
- By Barrington H. Brennen July 16, 2002
It was love at first sight. The attraction for each
other which started on Christmas morning 1948 is
still going strong today.
Mary and Alfred Brennen celebrated their 51st wedding anniversary,
July 18, 2002. They are a fun-loving, happy, friendly, gracious, and deeply
Christian couple. Although both are retired from their regular employment, the
Brennens jokingly say that retirement is not a plan of God, it is for lazy
folks. They enjoy working on their own time in church and community and
sharing their love with others. They are an inspiration to all who come in
contact with them.
They are truly happily marriage at ages 73 and 74 and they
are ready to do it all over again. Here is what Alfred Brennen said about
that: "As far as I am concerned, if this young girl gets younger I will
marry her all over again." I asked each one do describe their 51-year
marriage with single words, and here are the words they chose: Fantastic,
adorable, sensational, and beautiful. Isn’t it wonderful when couples can
think of each other in these ways? Mother Mary said that she is
"privileged to have such a considerate, loving, and kind, husband. He is
a god fearing man–the best husband in the world." Alfred Brennen is a
model husband during these times when so many men are neglecting their divine
calling as lovers in
their home.
Mary and Alfred Brennen are parents to four productive
citizens of the Bahamas. Their oldest child is Corporal Claudia Seymour, the
energetic, gregarious daughter. She and her husband Norman, a welder and water
works specialist, have three young adult daughters, and three grand children.
The second child is Barrington Brennen, counseling psychologist and marriage
and family therapist, and director of Adventist Counseling Services. He and
his wife Annick, an educational administrator and teacher, have one
21-year-old daughter, and a nineteen-year-old son. The third child is Judith
Edwards, hotel accountant in Arizona where she lives with her husband, Dr. Don
Edwards, psychologist/pastor. They have three young adult and teenage sons.
The fourth child of Mary and Alfred is Nurse Ann Albury, educational
psychologist and teacher. She is serving as the educational psychologist in
the Adventist School System. Ann, and her husband Pastor Keith Albury,
president of the Bahamas Conference of Seventh-day Adventists, have one young
adult, and two teenage sons. Mary and Alfred Brennen are also proud grand and
great grand parents.
Fifty-one years of marriage is not by accident for the
Brennens. They made a decision when they got
married to do whatever it takes
to keep the fires burning in their marriage. They still kiss, hold hands and
enjoy each other’s presence. More importantly, they keep the family altar
alive in their home. Jesus is the head of their household. Daily spiritual
meditation and prayers are important to the Brennens. Their belief in the
Seventh-day Sabbath as a day of worship, rest and fellowship, has played a
major role in their lives. In their home, Friday evenings are special quiet
times for worship and fellowship. These events add a booster to their marriage
relationship.
- LONG MARRIAGES ARE NOT ALWAYS GOOD
- There are many couples who have long marriages but are not happily
married. They are only tolerating each other. When a couple can
experience both longevity and happiness, we have a dynamic couple with a
vital marriage.
Here are a few of the Brennens’ secrets for a happy,
long-lasting marriage.
-
They discovered the power in a slice of Johnny Cake.
(See Receipt) Typically all the Brennen family members will get a call, and on the other
end of the line would be their mother with the words "Come and get a
piece of Johnny Cake." And they would run home like little children
for our piece of Johnny Cake. They all love Johnny Cake (especially when
Mother Mary makes it with some whole wheat flour). It’s a family
tradition in their home that works magic. Well it is not really the Johnny
Cake itself, but the tradition of the Brennen’s Johnny Cake that reminds
me of perhaps the most important ingredients for a good marriage: That is
establishing long-lasting family rituals. Eating together as a family is
very important. The family that never eats together is a weak family.
Whether it is once a week or every day, eating together should be done
regularly. It fosters fellowship, dialogue, and connection. There is
something magical about the family pot and the dining room table. Another
important ritual that the Brennens Johnny cake reminds me of is
family worship time. There must be a family altar in every home.
The family that prays together stays together. Another important ritual is
family fun-time. If couples and families neglect to have fun-time
together, married life and family life will be dull, meaningless, and
cold. Couples first need to set aside each week a time for themselves
alone.
-
They discovered the magic in a birthday card. They
still give birthday cards to each other, and to all of the family members.
This speaks to the importance of keeping the fires of love
burning in
marriage. It is continuing to do what you did to get each other in the
first place. That is what they did to get each other 51 years ago, they
are still doing it to keep each other now. It is so easy to forget to say
"I love you," to share those love notes, birthday and Valentines
Cards. They are still doing these things. I could remember the first time
I saw them kiss. When children know their parents are happy and they can
see it, children are happy and secured.
-
They discovered the power of laughter. The
Brennens have a healthy sense of humor. Laughter is one of the spicy
secret ingredients for a happy relationship. Too many husbands and wives
take their lives too seriously. They have lost the ability to laugh
together. If you can’t laugh with your spouse, your marriage will dry
up. There have been many scientific studies that show laughter does help
to improve the immune system, because when we laugh, our brain releases
all kinds of wonderfully happy hormones into our bodies. Also, learning
how to incorporate laughter in marriage will add to the health of the
relationship. You must have a sense of humor to keep the fires of love
burning in your marriage. Laughter will strengthen the marital immune
system–called romance.
These are only a few of the many secrets of a long-lasting,
happy marriage.
51 Golden Years
Alfred & Mary Brennen
Married July 18, 1951
