Question: Dear Sir: You said it is wrong to be a
homosexual, but don’t you think God still loves them?
Answer: Certainly, without a doubt, God loves the
homosexual. God does not like homosexual practices, but
he did come to earth to die for all, including the
homosexual. John 3:16 says "For God so loved the world
that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever
believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting
life." God’s love to us is unconditional. However, we
must accept his love and allow the transforming power of
his love to make a difference in lives. I love the way
God deals with sinners and hurting people. He accepts us
where we are, then empowers us to transform our lives.
In other words, God’s unconditional love is not
transforming until we open our hearts and minds to Him.
God will never force us to do or be anything. Yet, he
still loves us.
We also need
to come to the point that if a homosexual cannot change
his or orientation we should not judge that the life of
the person is not spiritually transformed.
Over the years I have dedicated this column to the
healing of individuals and families. I am writing about
homosexuality because there are many homosexuals and
lesbians in our country who are hurting, confused, and
desperately crying out for help. Yes, there are others
who are not so interested for such help. They have
decided to accept their sexual orientation as "natural"
and many of them would say "it is a gift from God." There are many homosexuals who
want freedom from homosexuality. I have no doubt that
homosexuals can change. There are many who can testify
to that. However, I now
know, based on my research and talking with others, that
there are some homosexuals who really find it impossible
to change their orientation. They can choose to
the have a sexual relationship, but the desire is still
there. I am looking forward to the day when
a known homosexual can be visit a main-line Christian
church and feel accepted and wanted and not judged about
his or her sexual orientation.
AFRAID TO SEEK HELP
There are many male and female homosexuals who are
afraid to come out of the closet and seek help because
they feel that they will not be accepted and will be
treated with disdain. Our responsibility as descant
Christian citizens are to respect and love everyone in
spite their sexual orientation. We need not encourage
their homosexual practices, but we can support their
basic human rights they are entitled to under the
constitution of the Commonwealth of the Bahamas. We all
have ( including the homosexual) a right to life,
liberty, and the security of person.
WE CAN’T ALWAYS TELL
Ironically, many of us who are so angry toward
homosexuals, are often not aware that a person they have
communicated with for years on the job, at church, or in
the community, might also be a homosexual. Although a
healthy friendship would have developed over the years,
yet as soon as they find out that their "friend" is a
homosexual their attitude changes toward them.
Unfortunately, to them their friend is no longer a
friend, but a "disgusting homosexual" who does not
deserve to be respected. This is sad.
WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE SHOW ME A HOMOSEXUAL?
It is difficult to identify most homosexuals. Some
homosexuals get married to cover up their orientation.
Others keep their activities discreetly limited to a
select group of individuals. We can’t always tell who’s
who. First impressions are not always true and you can’t
truly judge a book by its cover. Most homosexuals
are not effeminate. In fact, research tells us that
about 85% of effeminate men are not homosexuals. They
are usually dedicated, committed, and loving husbands
and fathers. It is a terrible mistake to attribute the
soft voice, gentle walk, and usually hand motions, to a
homosexual.
The homosexual can be that incredible
hulk-of-a-man you admire, the masculine boss, the most
enjoyable person on the job, the charming secretary, the
committed father or mother, the affectionate spouse, or
the most beautiful, famine nurse. Not all homosexuals
accost or flirt with other people. What then is my
point? While we speak out against homosexuality, we must
find ways of keeping the lines of communication open
between us. Why change our attitude towards someone
simply because we learned something different about the
person, especially when the person has never caused harm
to you or made you feel uncomfortable in his or her
presence.
Sometimes it is wise to adjust our ways of relating to
each other when there are serious lifestyles differences
we believe that are not wholesome. However, we need not
ostracize or belittle someone just because we are sure
our lifestyle and sexual orientation is the right one.
MISPLACED ANGER
It is my opinion that too many of us straight people are
angry for the wrong reasons. What about the adult men
who rape innocent adolescent girls? What about the
forty-year-old husband who has sex with sixteen-year-old
high school females? What about the fathers who molest
(rape) infant sons and daughters? What about the mothers
who sexually molest their children? What about the adult
women who prey on the hearts and bodies of young teenage
boys? What about the countless women who are raped each
week in our county? What about the married partners who
cheat on each other?
Why are we not raising our angry voices against these
atrocities? While we do not want to see two adult men
hugging and kissing in public, yet we seem not to get
angry at the heterosexual licentious behavior we see
exhibited in our public buildings, school grounds,
political halls, and church corridors. All indecent
public behavior, whether between heterosexuals or
homosexuals is wrong and must come to an end.
Unfortunately, far too many people
equate homosexuality with promiscuity. They
believe that by default a homosexual is a flirt.
This is a myth. In fact, research has shown the
heterosexuals a slightly more promiscuous that
homosexuals. Many homosexuals are just like many
heterosexuals who are living godly, Christ-like lives.
Many homosexuals themselves often misunderstand the
straight person when he or she speaks out against
homosexuality. Once you say homosexuality is wrong then
you are demonstrating a homophobic attitude. This is not
true with everyone. We can learn to love someone who
chooses a direction in life we do not agree with. We can
learn to accept people for whom they are. There are many
mothers and fathers who have a great difficulty
in accepting their homosexual children as their own and
still are against their lifestyle. We need strength from
God to love everyone, even the homosexuals.
THE
RUDE PARENT
I have
had a few mothers come to counseling session
with their male or female teenager because
they feel or know that their child is having
homosexual "tendencies" or inclinations".
During the very first session it becomes
obvious to me that the main problem is not
the teenage child but the parent. The
parents is judgmental, harsh, rigid, and
cold. Here are examples of what the
parent would say to the child. Keep in mind
that the child has done nothing wrong or is
not even having a homosexual relationship.
"You are going
to hell."
"This is an abomination"
"When you become 18 years old I do not
want to see you again."
"You are an embarrassment to this
family."
I have only heard
these embarrassing statement from Christian
parents. Where is the love, compassion
and sensitivity? In the parent would be more
compassionate, non-judgmental and
understanding, she would be able to keep the
door of communication open between her and
her child. Instead of making
such painful statements, the parent can say:
“Son, I’ve
noticed that your behavior is changing
to become more like a girl. How long
have you been feeling this way? What do
you want me to understand about your
feelings? I want you to feel comfortable
to talk with me at any time.”
Far too often
parents are doing more emotional and
psychological damage to their children than
what they perceive would be the child's
orientation or tendencies.
SEXUAL ACTIVITIES ARE THE SAME
Years ago we believed the AIDS was mostly a homosexual
phenomenon. One reason being that of their unusual
method of sexual interaction–anal sex. We now know that
this is not true. AIDS is growing faster among
heterosexuals today. Anal sex, an unusual sexual
activity practiced by most homosexuals, is also very
common among heterosexuals. Do you
realize that there is a percentage of homosexuals who
are sexually active who refuses to engaged in anal sex.
Like some heterosexual, they find it seriously wrong. In fact many straight
teenagers engage in anal sex to avoid pregnancy. While
some hate homosexuals because of their sexual
orientation, they are still involved in a very
"homosexual act"--anal sex. How hypocritical we are!
Send your questions and comments to P.O. Box CB-11045,
Nassau, Bahamas, or email
barringtonbrennen@gmail.com or
call 242 327 1980, WhatsApp/Cell 242-477 4002
