A Demonstration of
Love Is Needed
By Barrington H. Brennen,
June 23, 2016
During the months and weeks
leading up to the Constitutional Referendum on June 7,
2016, in The Bahamas, when the nation voted on four
bills concerning citizenship and gender equality, there has
been mush said that has left a real feeling sadness in the
hearts of many.
While some of us, including
myself, voted “YES” on or four bills, and are saddened by
the “NO” results, we are equally saddened because of the
unkind language and messages that was shared on talk shows,
the streets, community halls, and even sometimes from church
pulpits. The negative message was not necessarily that we
must “Vote No;” although in my opinion the “No Vote” is
counterproductive for building a healthy nation. Some of
the negative messages were: “Homosexuals have no rights.”
“Lesbians are going to hell.” “Homosexuals have no place in
this country.” “Same sex couples must get out of this
country.” “The Government has an ulterior motive.” “Let
the foreign husbands stay where they belong—outside of The
Bahamas.” “Let those sinners burn in hell fire.” On and
on it went. The name of “God” was used and misused to
twist the logical, progressive, humane, proposed amendments
to the Constitution into a diabolical plan. Although this
last sentence reflects my opinion, we must agree that the
behavior of many of us is not a reflection of our claim to
be citizens who are friendly, loving and kind.
In addition, many Bahamians
boast that our nation is a Christian one, but in reality,
our actions and words conflict with many our beliefs. I am
deeply saddened that far too many have forgotten to put into
practice what they have read and were taught from a child.
For example, 1 Corinthians 13:4 says “Love is not jealous
or boastful or proud or rude.” Please, no more rudeness.
Let’s stop it. Matthew 5:44 says “But I say, love your
enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!” If you say
homosexuals are your enemies, weren’t you taught to love
them unconditionally? Colossians 4:6 “Let your
conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so
that you may know how to answer everyone.” Wow! This last
verse should have been read on the radio every day before
the voting. Grace is seriously missing from the
conversation of many.
How do we express grace in
our language? How do we express mercy in our
behavior? What makes Christian people behave so angrily
towards those they call “sinners?” In the article “10
Excuses Christians Give for Treating Others Badly,” the
author Jeremy Myers, states “Christians are notorious for
bad behavior. In some recent surveys (reported in books like
unChristian and They Like Jesus but Not the Church), it
appears that most people in our culture (USA) believe that
Christians are about as trustworthy as car salesmen and
lawyers.” Here is one reason the author states Christians
act so badly: “Some of it is our theology. Many Christians
develop a sense of entitlement because we are the “chosen
ones” the “elite” the members of the family of God. We feel
this gives us the right to look down upon others who are not
one of us. . . Sometimes, our behavior is a result of our
understanding of God’s grace and forgiveness. We feel that
because God forgives us for all our sins, we can treat
others in terrible ways, and God will still forgive us.
While it is true that God will forgive us for such behavior,
His grace is never a license to treat others so
shamefully.” Here is a punch line of he author: “Then
there is the critical, judgmental, legalistic attitude so
often taught and practiced in churches. Since we feel we
have a corner on the truth and that we are the ones who are
always right, this makes us believe that it is our
responsibility to be the world’s policemen, going around
pointing out where people are wrong and how they are
sinning. This is rarely received well by anyone, especially
when we have glaringly obvious sins in our own life.”
It is imperative here that I
list the ten points or excuses the author states why
Christians act so badly because I believe they are relevant
to us today:
-
We Christians are sinners
too. There are
other versions of this excuse, such as “Hey! Nobody’s
perfect!” or “I’m not perfect; just forgiven.” The idea
behind this excuse is that the watching world has put
unrealistic expectations on us as Christians. We
complain that they seem to think we should live perfect
lives, which is impossible.
-
It’s nothing personal;
it’s just business.
Sometimes people say, “This has nothing to do with my
Christianity.” Christians who say these things reveal a
deep misunderstanding of what following Jesus is all
about. For a follower of Jesus, there is no such thing
as “it’s just business.”
-
Judge not, lest you be
judged. People
don’t like their sin pointed out to them. I know I
don’t. And it is easy to get defensive and tell people
to mind their own business. But if we are failing to be
salt and light in the world, then we are supposed to be
held to higher standards, and sometimes this means
people will point out to us our failures. When this
happens, it is easy to get upset, lash out, and tell
people that they have their own sin to take care of
(which is likely true). But such arguments about who is
the worst sinner rarely lead to anything good.
-
It isn’t illegal.
I know a Christian lawyer from New York who steals money
from others legally. I challenged him on it once, and he
said that he is not doing anything illegal, which was
technically true. He had the law of the United States on
his side, and he had figured out a way to legally
swindle people. Nothing he was doing was breaking any of
our nation’s laws. But there is a big difference between
not breaking the laws of our nation, and treating people
with love, respect, and dignity. God’s laws are higher
than man’s laws, and even though a person may be
following man’s laws perfectly, this does not mean they
are following God’s laws. So be careful when you justify
your actions because you are not breaking any laws.
-
I have righteous anger. In
your anger do not sin.
Be careful if you ever find yourself quoting this verse.
When this verse is being quoted, very rarely is the
anger in question actually “righteous anger.” Usually,
it is self-righteous anger, and we are sinfully lashing
out at someone who slighted us, and then justifying our
anger by calling it “righteous anger.”
-
“They’re not Christians.
Some people have the misguided belief that we are only
to treat those within the family of God with honesty and
respect. Those outside the family of God can be
slandered, abused, and swindled. Sometimes Christians
will say, “When in Rome, do as the Romans.” In other
words, the world operates on a different set of ethics
than Christians do, and so when we deal with Christians,
we must use their set of ethics.”
-
“I have righteous anger.
In your anger do not sin.
Be careful if you ever find yourself quoting this verse.
When this verse is being quoted, very rarely is the
anger in question actually “righteous anger.” Usually,
it is self-righteous anger, and we are sinfully lashing
out at someone who slighted us, and then justifying our
anger by calling it “righteous anger.” How true.
-
“Don’t throw pearls before
swine. I
actually know some Christians who say this. They say
that all non-Christians are swine, and should be treated
as such. We are only to treat Christians nicely.”
|
"The Christian’s salt-effect
occurs when a non-Christian or even
another Christian, comes in contact
with a Christian through regular
social interaction. The “salt”
should “rub off” and not be forced
down the throat."
Barrington Brennen
|
|
-
“Hey, I’m not in church!
As with some of the other excuses above, this excuse
reveals a deep-seated misunderstanding of what the
church is and how followers of Jesus are supposed to
live and function. Church is not a place you go to for a
couple hours on Sunday or Saturday morning. It is not an
event at which you temporarily change your clothing and
behavior. Church goes with you wherever you go, and so
no matter what you are saying or doing, you are
representing Jesus and His church.”
-
“We must please God rather
than men. I
love this one, especially when Christians quote it as a
way to justify being mean and rude to other people.
Somehow the twisted logic is that we can please God by
pissing off other people. Or something like that. But I
have a feeling that if we are trying to please God and
in the process are making friends, family, coworkers,
and neighbors hate us, we probably are not pleasing God
either.”
I hope these excuses and the
ones in the previous article caused you to think. There is
so much pain inflicted in the world by Christians who should
be bringing peace and healing. It is my view that many do
not understand how to apply what Matthew 5:13-15 says “You
are the salt of the earth” and “You are the light of the
world.” What far too many Christians are doing is trying to
“pour salt” on everyone. The Christian’s salt-effect occurs
when a non-Christian or even another Christian, comes in
contact with a Christian through regular social
interaction. The “salt” should “rub off” and not be forced
down the throat.
Let me give a direct message
to my Christian friends. My challenge is this. Far too
many Christians have been taught in reality to hate the
sinner instead of hating the sin itself. That is wrong.
Wake up friends, change is coming and the Christian church
must be a center for peace and healing. Are you ready?
Christian comedian, Mark Lowry's words are perfect for
this: "Love the sinner, hate the sin? How about: Love the
sinner, hate your own sin! I don't have time to hate your
sin. There are too many of you! Hating my sin is a full-time
job. How about you hate your sin, I'll hate my sin and let's
just love each other!"
FEAR TACTICS: During
the past several months many spiritual leader were seeking
to instill fear into the hearts of many. They fear that
same-sex marriage will come. They fear homosexual
openness. They fear transgender people. They fear that
“those people will change our country.” They fear that
women will have more power than men. There is so much fear
going around that many forget that those they fear are
humans, like they are, deserving of our love, respect, and
understanding. Christians, I encourage you to remember that
our duty is to love everyone. Every human being in The
Commonwealth of The Bahamas is entitled to respect, equal
treatment under the law, and fairness. This include
transgenders, homosexuals, lesbians, intersect, bisexuals,
heterosexuals, Christians, Muslims, Hindus, agnostics,
atheists, Haitians, Jamaicans, Philippians, Barbadians, etc,
etc.
Barrington H. Brennen, MA, NCP, BCCP, JP, is
a marriage and family therapist and board certified clinical
psychotherapist, USA. Send your questions or comments to barringtonbrennen@gmail.com or
write to P.O. Box CB-13019, Nassau, The Bahamas, or visit www.soencouragement.org
or call 242-327-1980 or 242-477-4002.
