Question:
Dear Sir: Is a perfect marriage possible in a world that is so selfish and
materialistic?
Answer:
Dear Friend, Yes! It is possible to have a perfect marriage today.
Without a doubt, two loving people can succeed in having a well-balanced,
mutually enhancing, emotionally and spiritually satisfying relationship. Before
you get turned of by thinking that I am just a fool who believes we are living
in a utopian society. You are wrong. Read on and see how you can have a perfect
marriage.
Here is my definition of a perfect
marriage:
A perfect
marriage is one in which both married partners realize and admit their
imperfections and find ways of reducing them one by one thus creating a synergy
of marital forces that only brings harmony.
I am sure we are aware that absolute
perfection is not possible on this earth. That will only be possible after Jesus
Christ returns and recreates the earth. The perfection Jesus asks sinners to
have on this earth is not freedom from the presence of sin, but freedom from the
power or control of sin in our lives. Freedom from the presence of sin will only
occur when Christ removes sin entirely from the universe.
Similarly, a perfect marriage on this
earth is the harmonious blending of two sinful human beings struggling with
imperfect thoughts and actions. It is this struggle that refines and molds us,
building character of integrity. Hence, a perfect marriage is not the lack of
imperfections, but the presence of a repentant, humble spirit. Romans 5:1-5
provides for the most meaningful explanation of the joy of pain and suffering in
our lives. It says " . . . .We rejoice also in our suffering because we
know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and
character, hope." Could it be that a pain-free marriage is a miserable
marriage? Happy couples would agree that it was the test and trials that
enriched their marriage. We learn best about each other by observing how we deal
with the pain, disappointments, and troubles.
To further clarify my definition of a
perfect marriage here are some points.
- A perfect marriage is
not free from pain, but free of misery.
- A perfect marriage is
not absence from anger, but absence from resentment.
- A perfect marriage is
not free from disagreements, but free from discord.
- A perfect marriage is
not absence of challenges, but absence of confusion.
- A perfect marriage is
not free from diminishing romance, but free from an apathetic spirit.
What is my point? Well, it should be
obvious. If there are no challenges in your marriage then you are not normal
and happy. Yes, there are certain problems that should not be in the
marriage. For example—physical and emotional abuse, cursing, stealing, rape,
etc. However, in reality, other problems like misunderstanding,
miss-communication, disappointments, are a gift to a healthy marriage. I am
never impressed when elderly couples say they have never had a “fight” in
the marriage. Perhaps they are telling the truth because they are truly not
living like married people. Also, as long both individuals are mentally
normal, there will be differences of opinions or “fights.” Happy couples
learn how to fight right. That’s a perfect marriage.
Yes, I do believe you can have a perfect
marriage today where both partners feel fulfilled, loved, and valued. Go and
create a perfect marriage.