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Pastor Robert Vassell, Family
Ministries Director of the West Jamaica
Conference of Seventh-day Adventists |
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Pastor Robert
Vassell, Family Ministries Director of the West Jamaica
Conference in 2008, was the organizer for the "Bone of My Bone"
annual marriage summit held November 22, 2008 at West
Jamaica Conference Center, Montego Bay, Jamaica. This year was
outstanding. The enthusiasm was high. Responding
to the theme "Bonded Forever, Parting, Not Ever," hundreds
of couples, young and old, came from all over West Jamaica
Conference.
It is estimated that there were at least 850 couples, 200
spouses of partners who could not attend, a few widows,
widowers, and divorces (approximately 2000 individuals).
Of course, there were a few never married singles who came
to get insight and encouragement.
The Sabbath morning meeting began
at 9:30 with a packed hall. It started with a "Family
Worship Sabbath School led by Trevor Reid. Then at 11:00 the main
service begin when Barrington H. Brennen, Family Ministries
Director of The Bahamas Conference of Seventh-day
Adventists, gave the presentation "Bonded Forever . .
. Understanding God's Intention." He began the
presentation exposing the meaning of being bonded in
marriage. He explained that the word "bonded" is
similar to the word "one flesh" found first in
Genesis 2:4 and in Mark 10:8. In defining "one
flesh" he used eight terms to
demonstrated the different shades or kinds of "one flesh" in
marriage: oneness, togetherness, one-anotherness, companionship, partnership, mutuality, harmony and equality. He
encouraged the couples to truly become one through Christ.
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"Bone of My Bone" Theme Song
We Are A Family
Listen WMA
Listen
MP3
We are a family, hearts
bowed before thee
Fill us with love for
the world to see
In Jesus we're one, in
Jesus we overcome
In Jesus we are a
family. (repeat)
Show me how to love my
brother
Show me how to love my
sister
May we as a family be
one
Show me how to love more
patiently
Show me how to love as
you love me
May we as a family be
one,
Be one . . .
We are a family, hearts
bowed before thee
Fill is with love for
the world to see
In Jesus we're one, in
Jesus we overcome
In Jesus we are a
family.
(Bridge)
Love is the key to unity
Lord pour out your love,
may it fall on me
We are a family, hearts
bowed before thee
Fill is with love for
the world to see
In Jesus we're one, in
Jesus we overcome
In Jesus we are a
family. (Repeat)
In Jesus we are (repeat)
In Jesus we are a family
Accompaniment WMA
Accompaniment
MP3
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Then Barrington Brennen shared
with the many couples the "Four Roadblocks to Bondedness."
They were: (1) A misconception of equality:
When the emphasis is on someone being in charge. When abuse
lurks the dark corners of the house. When submission is
greatly misunderstood.
(2) A
misunderstanding of fidelity: When total sexual purity
does not extend beyond courtship. When pornography is
used to stimulate and entice.
(3) Not
enough time for romance and intimacy: When friendship
with the boys/girls and church takes priority. When intimacy
is understood as having sex (4) Instead of listening to
God we want Him to listen to us. When tradition does not
make sense. When the Bible is misused and abused for
personal gain.
The couples listened eagerly as
Barrington Brennen expounded the secrets of a hot and spicy
marriage. With the use of slides, humor, Biblical
texts, illustrations, and music, he kept the attention
of the audience for more than one-and-a-half hours.
After the morning service, which
ended at 1:35 p.m., it was lunch time. Many of the
couples who traveled long distances brought their lunches.
It was beautiful to see the hundred of couples scattered all
over the beautiful green lawns and under the giant cool
trees on the grounds of West Jamaica Conference,
fellowshipping and eating their meals. It was really a
Sabbath bonding time.
The
afternoon meeting began at 3:30 p.m. when Dr. Arthorine
Walker, a Jamaican counselor and educator residing in the
United States, spoke on "The Need for Healing." Her
presentation certainly reached the hearts of hundreds who
returned to receive more blessings. Hearts were
warmed and many who needed it, started on the road to
healing. The attention to words of Dr. Walker could be
seen through the couples physical closeness and the
clutching of hands as they sat together and listened.
It was a special moment during "Bone of My Bone" The day ended with
the final presentation by Barrington Brennen: "The
Four Women In My Life" and a recommitment ceremony led by
Pastor Vassel. Barrington talked about the "four
women," meaning what he describes as the four components of
marriage: spouse, lover, sweetheart, and friend.
He made it clear that many couples are great spouses, but not
many are great lovers, sweethearts or friends.
He
explained that "spouse" is the moral, legal, contractual
agreement in marriage and the long-term
commitment to each other. Many couples in the
Caribbean do well in this area.
The word "lover" is the
intimacy in marriage (intellectual, spiritual, emotional and
physical). This is a weak area in many
relationship, said Barrington. Many are physically
intimate, meaning they have sex, but they do not sit
together in church, hold hands in public, kiss passionately,
cuddle or huggle (a new word coined by Barrington Brennen
to describe to the intense joining of cuddling and hugging)
a lot.
 The word "sweetheart" is the romance in the
relationship. Things couples do to show how much they
love each other each day, week, and year (this does not
include sex). He suggested that not many couples are
good "sweethearts." They do not spend enough
time together sharing and romancing.
The word "friend" describes the
friendship in the relationship. Each one is to be each
other's best friend. He explained that in marriage we
can be each other's "girlfriend" and "boyfriend"
Friends enjoy doing simple things together. They enjoy
spending time together without sex on the agenda. He
suggests that a couples should have at least one activity
that they enjoy doing together. Barrington Brennen
also implied that not many couples are truly friends and
encourage the couples to become best friends
To conclude
the grand day, Pastor Robert conducted a commitment
ceremony. While the couples were singing the theme
song "We Are a Family," they came forward to the
front, stood, and embraced each other, looking in to each
other eyes. They repeated the pledge "bone of my bone
and flesh of my flesh." The service ended with a
special dedicatory pray by Barrington Brennen.
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Robert and Judith Vassell |
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