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- Compulsory Pre-Marriage
Health Certificate Needed
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Barrington H.
Brennen, January 15, 2004
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Barrington Brennen |
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Question: Dear Sir, I’ve been married for more
than fifteen years, and I did not know that my husband had AIDS until six
months ago. Although he has been faithful during the marriage, I am now
devastated because of his sexual life before we met. I am severely
depressed and had to seek medical and psychological help to cope with the
pain. Should there be a law requiring couples to disclose serious and
communicable illnesses before they get married?
Answer: Dear
Friend, Yes, It is my opinion that couples should be required by the
government to obtain a pre-marriage health certificate to get their
licence to marry. Within the next few months I will be proposing to the
government a "Pre-Marriage Health Disclosure Bill" and the
reasons for making mandatory that couples seek a medical exam before
getting married.
HONESTY AND OPENNESS
Honesty is always telling the truth, and openness is
volunteering the truth. Many individuals feel that if they are not
asked, they need not tell; but if they are asked they will not
lie. There are still others who feel their life before they met
their mate has no relevancy to the current relationship. This is
far from the truth. The secret past has a way of revealing itself,
often in very painful ways.
Marriage is a lifetime commitment of two individuals
who love each other. It demands total honesty, integrity, and trust. Too
many individuals are not entering marriage with the high level of
honesty and openness that is needed. They cover up the consequences of
past indiscretions, thinking that they will have no effect on their
relationship. It is my opinion, that the government is responsible for
ensuring that individuals getting married meet basic minimum health
standards which are needed for a productive happy marriage and a healthy
nation. Indiscretion and dishonesty among individuals getting married
are taxing the nation’s health and judicial systems. I am not
suggesting that a health certificate is for the
purpose of refusing a
marriage license. I am suggesting that this will ensure that both
parties are legally bound to inform their mates of their health status
before they get married. It will be up to each individual getting
married to decide if he/she will continue the relationship based on
health results.
- THE PAIN OF DISHONESTY
- Imagine the pain a partner experiences after making a lifetime
commitment to someone in marriage, then finding out that their
spouse has a sexually transmitted infection or serious health
illness. It can drive one crazy. I am not only referring to
persons who have had multiple sex partners before marriage. A
pre-marriage health certificate is also important for persons who
only had sex one time before meeting their married partner or if
they are virgins. Many persons have contracted a sexually
transmitted infection on their first sexual encounter. This is one
reason sexual abstinence is so important before marriage. Many
persons would not have made a commitment to marriage if they knew
their partner had a serious physical or mental disorder. Or if
they were knowledgeable about the problem before marriage, they
would have been better prepared for the consequences that
followed.
When someone finds out that her spouse lied about his
or her sexual encounters before or after marriage, something fundamental
dies within that person–faith and trust. It rips a hole into ones
heart. It is as if a loved one has literally died unexpectedly. The
person begins to grieve because there is a "death" in the
family–the relationship. Immediately after the "death,"
feelings of numbness, acute pain, anger, or powerlessness may overcome
one. Often this victim of dishonesty needs psychological and medical
help to overcome the shock. Life never remains the same again.
- HOW WILL IT WORK?
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What health tests should be included in a pre-marriage health
examination? What should be the procedure for obtaining a health
certificate and marriage license? The government should issue an
official form that couples should use to obtain a pre-marriage
health certificate. The form (one per individual) should include
the list of required health tests and a place for official
authentication of the health examination by the physician. Couples
should return each form, along with the lab results, to the
marriage registration office to obtain the marriage license.
The physical health examination should include a
general health check up and blood type. Specific tests should include
HIV, Syphilis, and Chlamydia, and any other sexually transmitted disease
the government deems necessary; as well as tuberculosis, and sickle
cell. If the female is sexually active or is more than forty years old,
then a pap smear and breast examination is important. In males more than
forty years old, there should be a prostate examination. The exam can
also include, after the medical doctor’s interview or upon a
pre-marriage counselor’s recommendation, health tests dealing with
serious medical problems that may be common in one’s family. For
example, heart and kidney diseases, or even mental health problems such
as schizophrenia.
- AVAILABILITY AND COST
- The required forms needed for pre-marriage health certification
should be made available to medical doctors, pre-marriage
counselors, and pastors. However, I recommend highly that a person
doing pre-marriage counseling with the couple (pastor,
pre-marriage educator, marriage and family therapist,
psychologist) also signs the form indicating that dialogue and
discussion has taken place regarding the test results. I believe
that included in this "Pre-Marriage Health Examination
Policy" persons who provide pre-marriage counseling should be
required to discuss the subject of "health in marriage."