National
Giving Thursday
Christmas Day 2015
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Barrington H. Brennen |
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The
twenty-fifth of December in most countries is recognized
as Christmas day. The most popular activity on that
day is the giving of gifts to show appreciation and love
to those close to us. Far too often we forget those
who do not have the means to celebrate. We forget the
poor, homeless or those who are financially struggling.
Sounds of Encouragement (SOE) is asking all residents
of The Bahamas join together to make this December 25
the first “National Giving Thursday”. Let us make this
Christmas the best Christmas the Bahamas have ever
experienced. It is a part of SOE’s
Social
Transformation Month. Last week Thursday was
Friendship Thursday and January 1, 2015, will be New
Relationship Thursday.
We have
become a very individualistic, cold, and distant society.
We do not really care for each other anymore. The rampant
crime has forced us into our secluded cocoons of safety and
security. While it is logical to care for and protect
ourselves from the criminal elements in society, it has made
us unnecessary prisoners in our own homes. When we shut
and lock our doors and windows in the evenings after coming
home from work, we also lock out a world of opportunity and
growth. We shield ourselves from thinking and caring for
those outside our own “peaceful castles.” To exasperate
this conundrum, the development of personal, held-hand
devices such as iPads, tablets, smart phones, has encouraged
solitary enjoyment instead of group sharing or group fun.
Even within sheltered walls the residents themselves seldom
interact intimately. When gathered in a room, each one can
be seen in his or her corner with a hand-held device
swiping, reading, watching or listening. It is a cold,
dismal picture to see. So we do give, shamefully to
ourselves and not to others. This behavior has resulted in
the build up of a toxic level of selfishness and
self-centeredness in each one of us. We are slowing
killing ourselves with this approach to living.
We must
change this picture. We must take the cleansing agents of
kindness, caring and giving to others to purge ourselves of
this poison. In the article “The Values of Giving and Self
Worth” the authors remind us that it is healthy emotionally
to think and care for others. “Thinking and caring about
others allows a person to learn more about life than
thinking and caring about him or herself alone. Finding an
interest in helping others can teach you about how other
people live and how difficult life can be in many
circumstances. Caring about others opens up your world to
new friends and provides a sense of satisfaction in life.”
THE
BENEFITS OF GIVING
It should
be obvious here that giving is not only beneficial to whom
is receiving the gift but also to the one who is giving it.
Psychologists Jill Suttie and Jason Marsh of the “Great
Good Science Center” in the University of California,
Berkeley, USA, says that: “New studies attest to the
benefits of giving—not just for the recipients but for the
givers’ health and happiness, and for the strength of entire
communities.” Here are the five ways they say giving is
good for your health:
-
Giving makes us feel happy. “A 2008 study by Harvard
Business School professor Michael Norton and colleagues
found that giving money to someone else lifted
participants’ happiness more that spending it on
themselves (despite participants’ prediction that
spending on themselves would make
them happier). . . These good feelings are reflected in
our biology. In a 2006 study,
Jorge Moll and colleagues at the National Institutes of
Health found that when people give to charities, it
activates regions of the brain associated with pleasure,
social connection, and trust, creating a “warm glow”
effect. Scientists also believe
that altruistic behavior releases endorphins in the
brain, producing the positive feeling known as the
“helper’s high.”
-
Giving is good for our health. “A wide range of
research has linked different forms of generosity to
better health, even among the sick and elderly.
In his book Why Good Things Happen to Good People,
Stephen Post, a professor of preventative medicine at
Stony Brook University, reports that giving to others
has been shown to increase health benefits in people
with chronic illness, including HIV and multiple
sclerosis. . . Researchers suggest that one reason
giving may improve physical health and longevity is that
it helps decrease stress, which is associated with a
variety of health problems. In a 2006 study by Rachel
Piferi of Johns Hopkins University and Kathleen Lawler
of the University of Tennessee, people who provided
social support to others had lower blood pressure than
participants who didn’t, suggesting a direct
physiological benefit to those who give of themselves.”
-
Giving promotes cooperation and social connection.
When you give, you’re more likely to get back: Several
studies, including work by sociologists Brent Simpson
and Robb Willer, have suggested that when you give to
others, your generosity is likely to be rewarded by
others down the line—sometimes by the person you gave
to, sometimes by someone else.”
-
Giving evokes gratitude. “Whether you’re on the
giving or receiving end of a gift, that gift can elicit
feelings of gratitude—it can be a way of expressing
gratitude or instilling gratitude in the recipient. And
research has found that gratitude is integral to
happiness, health, and social bonds.”
-
Giving is contagious. “When we give, we don’t only
help the immediate recipient of our gift. We also spur a
ripple effect of generosity through our community. A
study by James Fowler of the University of California,
San Diego, and Nicholas Christakis of Harvard, published
in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Science,
shows that when one person behaves generously, it
inspires observers to behave generously later, toward
different people. In fact, the researchers found that
altruism could spread by three degrees—from person to
person to person to person.”
WHAT TO
GIVE?
I am
encouraging everyone and every organization to find a way of
giving something to someone in need on “Giving Thursday”
(Christmas day). In addition, you can give something to
someone who is not in financial need, but who is emotionally
distraught and would appreciate someone showing a caring
spirit towards them.
Here are a
few things we you do on Giving Thursday:
-
Give words of
appreciation.
Write
a letter to a friend. Call someone and uplift them up by
your words of encouragement.
-
Give a meal. Invite a friend, neighbor or even
stranger, for a meal in your home or just to have a fun
time.
-
Give your space.
Invite neighbors to watch a movie together with
you on Christmas night.
-
Give dry goods. Purchase dry goods such and peas,
rice, fruits, pumpkin, can goods, or make an attractive
food baskets to give to someone in need.
-
Give your skills. On Christmas day it is a great
time to repair someone’s roof, clean a car, install
computer software, paint a wall, etc.
Here is a famous, wonderful story
to end with. Have the tissue box nearby.
“It's a cold day in December. A
little boy about 10-year-old was standing before a shoe
store on Broadway, barefooted, peering through the window,
and shivering with cold. A lady approached the boy and said,
"My little fellow, why are you looking so earnestly in that
window?"
"I was asking God to give me a
pair of shoes," was the boy's reply.
The lady took him by the hand and
went into the store, and asked the clerk to get a half dozen
pairs of socks for the boy. She then asked if he could give
her a basin of water and a towel. He quickly brought them to
her. She took the little fellow to the back part of the
store and, removing her gloves, knelt down, washed his
little feet, and dried them with a towel.
By this time the clerk had
returned with the socks. Placing a pair upon the boy's feet,
she then purchased him a pair of shoes, and tying up the
remaining pairs of socks, gave them to him. She patted him
on the head and said, "No doubt, my little fellow, you feel
more comfortable now?"
As she turned to go, the
astonished lad caught her by the hand, and looking up in her
face, with tears in his eyes, answered the question with
these words: "Are you God's wife?"
This dear kind lady gave more than
shoes and socks on the cold winter day. She gave her time,
her love, and her concern. This Christmas do you think
someone would ask you the question: “Are you God’s
wife/husband?”
Let’s change our country by giving
of ourselves to others. Happy Giving Thursday!
Barrington H. Brennen is
the co founder and president of Sounds of Encouragement. He is
a marriage and family therapist and board certified clinical
psychotherapist, USA. Send your questions or comments to barringtonbrennen@gmail.com or
write to P.O. Box CB-13019, Nassau, The Bahamas, or visit www.soencouragement.org or
call 242-327-1980 or 242-477-4002
