WRITER'S NOTE ADDED IN APRIL 2020: I do believe that some
individuals can cease having same sex attractions and/or cease having same
sex relationships. However, I am also aware that a percentage of
individuals who desire not to have same sex attraction, are not successful,
even with sincere prayer and a meaningful relationship with Jesus. I
sincerely believe that these individuals are equally as normal and
spiritual as all the others. I also know that reparative therapy does not
work for everyone.
Question: Dear Sir: I am a homosexual
recently converted to Christianity. Can I overcome my homosexuality?
Answer: Yes, you can overcome your homosexuality, with the
power of Jesus in you. I am answering you honestly from one Christian to
another. Although I do believe you can change,
it is important that you understand that no all homosexuals have found it
possible to change, even sincere Christians. I do believe that sexual
involvement can cease, but sexual desires might linger long or never go
away. That is not evidence of failure or spiritual apathy.
There seems to be a
great controversy in the psychological and theological arenas whether a person
is born a homosexual or not. One of the latest finding, according to a 1993
study at the University of Colorado and the Whitehead Institute of Biomedical
Research in Cambridge, Massachusetts, suggests that there might a homosexual
gene that predisposes a person toward homosexuality. Wow! Wouldn’t it be
frightening to be controlled by chemicals in our bodies without the possibility
of making cognitive decisions. On the other hand whether or not there is a
homosexual gene is an issue for the Christian. Why not? Because the Bible does
say that we are "born in sin and shapen in iniquity." There are
"genes" that give us the tendency to evil things but they don’t make
us do them.
"Strictly speaking, one cannot be born a homosexual because it is a learned
behavior, as are anger, fear, lust, prostitution, and even love. Certainly,
however, one can be born with the predisposition toward homosexuality."
Is this really true? Since I first wrote
this article I was not convinced about what I am about to say. Although I
still hold to my view that one can be born with the leaning toward
homosexuality, now I do believe further that their might be a possibility
the some (not every homosexual) are born with a genetic disposition toward
homosexual that is reinforced with the environment (nature)
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A
homosexual may be defined as a person who willingly engages in homosexual acts.
In other words, tendencies, genetic make-up, or biological deficiencies, should
not dictate to us. I am certain that if the genetic scientists checked even
further, they might find a gene for every deviant behavior and attitude in the
human race. Interestingly, the Times Magazine, July 1995 issue, presented a
cover story entitled "Infidelity, It May Be in Our Genes." In the
early 70s, a scientist supposedly discovered that serial killers have an extra
"y" chromosome, which is believed to make them more violent. Recently
researchers "discovered" that there is a gene for alcoholism. What
next?
If we are dictated to by our genetic structure, hormonal flow, and impulses,
we are no better than the animals. Many of us, heterosexuals and homosexuals, do
act like them. Humans were made with a special gift called the power and freedom
of choice. This freedom to choose, controlled by the Holy Spirit, should help us
conquer the natural, sinful inclinations of our body cells and nerves. The brain
cells are designed to function independently of all cells in the body. We
ultimately decide who we are, what we want to be, and our destiny in life.
Our great challenge, then, is how we as Christians relate to homosexuals and
lesbians. Often we expect them to practice heterosexuality instantly, forgetting
that any behavioral change takes time. One can stop the habit instantly, but the
desires and impulses may still remain.
Many pro-homosexuals say that Christian teachings are making some
homosexuals feel unnecessarily frustrated, depressed, and even commit
suicide. They say that God does not condemn homosexual practices. A
"Christian" psychologist once said to me: "A loving God would never condemn
a man if he wants another man to be his sexual partner. God is love and if a
man is a Christian and loves, then it is from God." Is
this true?
It is not the Christian teaching that’s causing the problem. Rather, it is
a misconception of what freedom from sin really means, and knowing what Grace
and Mercy are all about. Yes, we have the freedom to be homosexual, but being
free to choose does not remove the consequences of the abuse of that freedom.
When God gives victory over sinful acts, sinful desires are not necessarily
removed immediately. I want to point out that I now
know that sexual orientation itself is not the sin (just the practices).
(Some might think the following is out of date but
I still thought to leave this in) How does one really become a homosexual or a lesbian? This is a difficult
question because no one really knows all the answers. However, Dr. Tim LaHaye in
his book, "The Unhappy Gays" presents what he thinks are the
components for developing a homosexual predisposition. He cites: (1) permissive
childhood training, (2) insecurity about sexual identity, (3) childhood sexual
experiences, (4) early interest in sex. These components, according to Dr.
LaHaye, lead to a predisposition toward homosexuality. However, the person is
not yet a homosexual. It is also important to understand that it is possible
that one may have a biological tendency toward homosexuality and still have a
well-balanced happy family background. I believe that homosexuals are made, not
born. Having the tendency does not make one a homosexual. Dr. LaHaye presents
the formula for producing a homosexual: (1) having a predisposition toward
homosexuality, (2) having the first homosexual experience, (3) pleasurable and
positive homosexual thoughts, (4) more homosexual experiences, (5) more
pleasurable thoughts. Then a person becomes a homosexual.
Initially, having the desire to make love with someone of the same sex does
not in itself make one a homosexual or a lesbian. When these desires are
cultivated and acted upon, then one becomes a homosexual. Therefore, it is
important to make a definite choice not to cultivate the thoughts or act on our
desires. We can choose to remain heterosexual. The desire may be very strong. So
are the desires to smoke, use cocaine, have multiple sex partners, cheat on one’s
spouse, steal, etc. We can choose, with the power of the Holy Spirit, to abstain
from homosexual acts.
Dear recovering homosexual or lesbian, you may never be able to love someone
of the opposite sex the way you want to, or the way others want you to, or the
way God intended you to, but I believe that your spiritual direction is more
important. In other words, the real test is not whether or not you love another
individual of the opposite sex, but whether you love the Creator, the One who
will recreate you in His time. As a result of your love for Him, you will
develop a strategy to conquer the desire. Your friendships, associations, daily
habits, etc. may need to be altered. Claim the promise of healing power
(although you see no evidence of it). "Make no provision for the lust of
the flesh" Romans 13:14.
Dear friend, read carefully my adaptation of several verses by the Apostle
Paul from the Bible on his own struggles and his understanding of God’s mercy
and grace: "At birth I was sold to homosexual tendencies on the auction
block of sin. In time God touched me and showed me that my homosexual lifestyle
was against Him. So I cried out to Him for deliverance and He delivered me. Now
I no longer practice homosexuality; however, there is still something inside me
that constantly tries to entice me to love another man sexually. My faith in
Jesus is strong. Each day I submit to him, allowing His powers to neutralize the
ever-present force of homosexuality. There is a war within my body. One force
wants to recapture my body into the slavery of homosexuality but with my mind I
want to be straight. I cry out again to God: "When will this all be
over?" He says" "Trust Me, My Grace is sufficient for you."
Now I know that although the battle will remain within, I focus on Christ who
gives me peace of mind. I am no longer a homosexual. I am bought by Christ’s
blood who will one day free me forever from this confused condition. Because of
Jesus, I have a new experience, a foretaste of that freedom to come. (Adaptation
from 1 Cor 6:9-11; 10:13; Rom 5:12,14; 7:14,15).
If you would like to find out more information about freedom over
homosexuality or for books and materials on homosexuality seek this website:
Changed Ministries
Barrington H. Brennen, counseling psychologist and marriage and family
therapist. You can reach me at
info@soencouragement.org
or call at
242-327 1980 or write to P.O. Box CB-11045, Nassau,
Bahamas.
