Dear
readers, while you are shopping for Christmas
gifts for your loved ones, remember that the price of the
gift does not determine the quality of your love. In
reality, the price of the gift may reveal your pride and
self-centeredness.
Practically, the best gift to give this Christian is the
gift of unconditional love and acceptance. If you are
giving a gift of food or clothing to someone who is in need
then make sure it is accompanied with a heart full of
love. Let the receiver of the gift see it in your eyes,
smile, and warm genuine hugs. Let them hear it is your
tender voice of compassion and understanding.
Why is the gift of love so important?
Most times we forget about the real reason for giving, even
when it is the giving of things. Far too many people are
hurting. Far too many families are wounded. Christmas
time can be the most painful time of the year for many.
There is loneliness and depression. I call this the
“Christmas blues.”
Two decades ago I wrote: “One reason so many can be
depressed and lonely during Christmas time is often centered
on the idea of what Christmas is all about---a time for
family togetherness. Too many marriages have broken up
around Christmas time. Some of the most painful explosive
arguments, secret revelations, and family fights, have
occurred during or around Christmas time.
There are many husbands who have lost custody of their
children, learned that their wives were cheating on them
during Christmas time. There are many wives who have
experienced the worse of marital discords, learned that
their husbands had sex with other women who might have AIDS,
all during Christmas. There are many who have lost their
most precious loved ones, through death during Christmas
time. On the other hand, there are many children who have
had their biggest fights with brothers and sisters over toys
or experience the pain of parent favoritism during Christmas
time. How then could Christmas be fun?”
Unfortunately, depression and sadness increase during
Christmas time. The more reason, for those of us who can,
should give the gift of love. Love cannot be wrapped in
expensive, beautiful paper. It cannot be bought at our
local stores. It cannot be crafted or manufactured by any
of our local artisans. It can only be given from a true
heart of understanding, kindness and compassion. Find a
way of giving lots of love this Christmas, especially to
those who are wounded emotionally and who are abandoned on
the streets of rejection, indifference, shame, and
frustration. We need to love them because Christmas sadness
and depression is most painful. We need to love them
because they are human just like us.
MY APPEAL TO PARENTS
Christmas time is a time many parents mess up the most.
They seek to “purchase” the love of they children by giving
them all the gifts they want, no matter the cost. This is
not love and might be proven to be detrimental in the long
run. Do not seek to buy the love of your children by giving
them an expensive iPad when you haven’t taken care of their
much-needed dental work (that is an embarrassment to them)
or you haven’t even hugged them and told them that you love
them. Some parents would give the gifts knowing that their
children want them but that is all they do. They do not
stay around and spend time to talk, laugh, hug, or just have
fun. Please parents, make sure you spend time with your
children this Christmas.
There is a great challenge with those persons who have
children “all over the place”—Children will this one, that
one and the other one. How can they truly spread their
unconditional love? How can they get close? It is
impossible. Therefore, far too many children are being
raised without that important ingredient—true love—warmth,
compassion, understanding. It is important to realize
that love is best expressed by action not just talking about
it. How then can all of those fifteen children for seven
mothers/fathers truly receive love? They cannot.
Maybe you are saying that all fifteen can be gathered at one
location for a Christmas special. The problem is most of
them think they are the only one and some of the parents are
not aware of the giant flock of off springs. It’s
impossible. Now we are beginning to understand why far too
many of our youth are angry and cold are most susceptible to
joining gangs.
The love I am writing about today give pierced through the
barriers of shame, coldness, anger, and frustration. Make
it a point to reach out to someone this Christmas in a way
you haven’t done before. Express your love
unconditionally. Writer Lisa Pool states: “Unconditional
love is caring about the happiness of another person without
any thought for what we might get for ourselves.”
Share you love today.
Barrington H. Brennen, MA, NCP, BCCP, a
marriage and family therapist and board certified clinical
psychotherapist, USA. Send your questions or comments to
question@soencouragement.org or write to P.O. Box CB-11045 Nassau, The Bahamas, or
visit
www.soencouragement.org
or call 242-327-1980
