Multidimensional Men for
Gender Equality
By
Barrington & Gerard Brennen, October 8, 2014
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Gerard A. Brennen |
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"If we want to make a change, we
need to teach our men and women that
they are more than what society says
they are. We are not the sum of
their faults, but the sum of their
values and actions. We are the sum
of what they stand for."
Gerard Brennen |
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Barrington H. Brennen |
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In this article I am honored to share with you some
ideas about gender equality from my own son, Gerard, now
residing in Nebraska with his family. Our son perhaps
can be called a "metrosexual male." Who is a metrosexual
male? Here’s how one author describes him: "He's been
described as a straight, sensitive, well-educated, urban
dweller who is in touch with his feminine side.” If
one concludes that Gerard’s physique and fine-tuned,
large curved muscles are symbol of a macho male, you
would be mistaken. Gerard is sensitive, caring,
determined, emotionally and physically strong. He is
not embarrassed to express love and tenderness to his
two sons and more importantly, to his dear wife, Dana.
Read some excerpts from an article he recently wrote:
“Emma Watson gave an
empowering speech
about feminism and gender at the UN. “She helped to
launch the
HeForShe
Campaign which aims to galvanize one billion men and
boys as advocates for ending the inequalities that
women and girls face globally” (Vanityfair.com).
Watson spoke about issues that have been a passion
of mine since I could remember. One of the issues
she spoke about was that feminism usually has a
negative connotation, describing feminism as man
hating. In fact, feminism is more about equality
rather than shifting the power from one gender to
the other. She also asked, “How can we make a change
when we do not include men in the conversation?”
This question is very important because it invites
men to stand up and fight for women's rights and
gender equality. Also, if men are going to stand up
for gender equality and women's rights, we as a
society are going to need to re-invent what makes a
man a good man. We are going to need to re-evaluate
our values in what we find important for men to be
contributors to our society.
I read this quote on Facebook, “In my Opinion... A
man hasn't passed the true test of manhood until he
develops the self-control to be faithful to one
woman. Any male can cheat, but only real men have
what it takes to be faithful.” This quote seems like
truth hitting the nail on the head; however, it is
placing men in a box, describing them as the sum of
their temptations. There are many other quotes and
statements I've heard that describe men as the sum
of some sort of selfish, egocentric, careless, and
non-nurturing human characteristic. They have all
missed the mark and continue to foster what we
perceive to be an acceptable journey to manhood.
This way of thinking must change and we must hold
men to a higher standard.
Men are multidimensional human beings who are
capable of being more. Unfortunately, we have been
taught that men can only be one of many things; for
example: A man can only be strong, but not
sensitive; or sensitive, but not strong. A man can
be logical but not intuitive; or intuitive, but not
logical. A man can be a provider, but not
nurturing; or nurturing, but not a provider.
When we look at each of these characteristics, they
are all positive. However this is where society is
utterly confused and twisted. Unfortunately, society
has labeled the softer and more nurturing
characteristics as feminine and has identified them
to be weaknesses. One of the quotes that I've often
heard is: “You cannot have a strong man and a
sensitive man.” This statement establishes nurturing
characteristics as weakness, which is a perception
that needs to be repudiated if we are going to make
a change.
All of the characteristics I mentioned above are
human characteristics that should be displayed long
before we are adults. We develop them during our
relationship with our parents, siblings, friends,
teachers, and community. If we want to make a
change, we need to teach our men and women that they
are more than what society says they are. We are not
the sum of their faults, but the sum of their values
and actions. We are the sum of what they stand for.”
I encourage you readers to share this article with your
male friends. We have far too many men who equate
strength and power as greatness. They overrule, coerce,
usurp and threaten. They make statements like: “Who is
wearing the pants around here?” or “I am in charge?” or
“I have the last say.” It is now clear to me that this
kind of men are really weak and try to make themselves
feel good by walking on others, even their spouses and
children. To make our society better, this philosophy
and behavior has to change. Men, let it start with
you. Be an understanding, caring, sensitive man.
Accept women as your equal partners not your submissive
helpers or competitors.
Gerard
Brennen is a Certified Strength and Conditioning
Specialist and has a bachelor's degree in Health and
Human Performance and Business Sports Management. He is
also a
personal trainer,
health enthusiast, athletic and swim coach, and much
more.
During his
college career, he was a member of the Union College
Gymnaires (Nebraska, USA), a sports acrobatic team
specializing in recreational gymnastics and performing
arts. While on the team, Gerard found purpose and
inspiration, which he truly believes defines who he is
as a health and fitness professional. Send your
question or comments to
gerardbrennen@gmail.com or visit his website at
www.gerardbrennen.com
Barrington H. Brennen is a marriage and family
therapist and board certified clinical psychotherapist,
USA. Send your questions or comments to barringtonbrennen@gmail.com or
write to P.O. Box CB-13019, Nassau, The Bahamas, or
visit www.soencouragement.org or
call 242-327-1980 or 242-477-4002
