Parental Tips for
the New School Year
By Barrington H.
Brennen, September 2, 2013, January 2023
PDF Format
The most important
individuals who will help students truly have a successful
school year are parents. Teachers can only work with what
parents are presenting to them. The right attitude,
interest in learning, discipline, respect, determination,
are qualities that are first and best taught in the home.
Therefore, in this article, I will give a few parental tips
to help students have a successful school year.
PREPARE THE
EMOTIONAL ENVIRONMENT
Parents are
responsible for providing an environment that will
facilitate learning. A good home provides love,
encouragement, stimulation, and emotional security. The
absence of hostility, on-going emotional pain, rage, and
addictive behavior (gambling, alcohol, illegal drugs) is key
to producing a wholesome environment that stimulates
learning.
More importantly,
what a parent says to a child can influence behavior. Each
morning before the child goes to school let the last words
parents speak be positive and proactive. For example “Have
a beautiful day,” or “I know you will do your best today,”
or “I cannot wait until you come home to hear how exciting
your day was.” These positive words will drive a positive
behavior. It is called positive reinforcement. On the
other hand, when the last words the child hears before going
to school are negative, the chances of the child behaving
badly in school are greater. For example: “Don’t embarrass
me today.” Or “I don’t want to hear anything bad about you
today,” or “Don’t do anything foolish today.” These last
words most likely will drive negative behavior. This is
negative reinforcement. Leave something positive on the
child’s mind. Let your words express confidence in the
child even if you are not happy with your child’s behavior.
If the child constantly hears negative words from the
significant others in her life, failure is almost assured.
When the child fails, the parent then says: “See I told you
so.” Parents usually refuse to admit that they actually set
up their children to fail. Speak positively to your
children each day. Proverbs 25:11 states: “A well-spoken
word at just the right moment is like golden apples in
settings of silver.”
PRAISE ANY
IMPROVEMENT
One of the great
things parents can do to stimulate interest in learning in a
failing child or a child who is not making “As” and “Bs” is
to remember to praise any growth, no matter
how small the
increment. For example, if the child was struggling with a
“D” grade in mathematics during a school year and one day
brings home a grade of “C”, praise the child. That is a
great improvement. Some parents mistakenly do not praise
this “small” improvement because they only consider
improvement to be when the child makes an “A.” Hence the
parent’s attitude discourages the child. It is really not
all that important that your child be a straight “A”
student. What is really important is for your child to do
his or her best. I believe that all students, with the
right stimulation and teaching techniques, can make good
grades in school (C+ to A). This Bible text might provide
insight. Ecclesiastes 11:4 “Farmers who wait for perfect
weather never plant. If they watch every cloud, they never
harvest.”
PROVIDE THE
STRUCTURE
Parents, it is
imperative that you provide a home with the proper structure
to make it conducive for learning. Establish sensible
bed times. Research now tells us that teenagers need at
least 9.2 hours of sleep a night but will thrive best on 10
to 12 hours. Therefore, allowing your children to stay up
as long as they want to is not healthy. Watching a late
moving after finishing homework at 10:00 p.m. is not wise.
It impacts the immune system and makes the brain sluggish.
Remember, do not ask your children whether they want to
sleep as a way to get them to bed. Let your children
understand that bed time and sleepiness are two different
things. Set the time to go to bed without taking into
consideration whether your children are sleepy.
Provide a
nutritious breakfast. Focus on complex carbohydrates
and protein. Avoid as far as possible your child buying
$1.99 breakfast (grits and egg) each morning. It is your
responsibility to make sure your children have a great blast
off for the day. Provide them with a solid breakfast every
morning. For example choose from the following: potatoes,
eggs, whole grain cereal, whole grain grits, oatmeal, almond
milk, spinach, orange, melon, whole grain waffles or
pancakes. Then make sure your children get a good vitamin
and mineral supplement. Students need a good breakfast to
do well in their classes. When students try to learn and
have nothing in their stomach, they will have a lot of
trouble succeeding.
Work along with
your children to create a daily schedule. The schedule
includes what they will do when they arrive home after
school until bed time. Make sure after school time includes
a short rest or chill-out time, daily chores, and homework.
If your children have two to three hours slated for homework
assignment, allow them to take a break every thirty to
forty-five minutes.
Randomly check their
school bags and school books. Look for neatness, complete or
incomplete assignments, and how they maintain their
textbooks. Look at test/exam scores, etc.
Parents, I encourage
you to attend parents and teachers meetings and report card
days. You are your children’s primary caregivers. Your
interest in these events also encourages them. Also, you
need to dialogue with the teachers. The success of your
children is a collaborative effort between parents and
teachers.
Get involved.
Barrington H. Brennen is a
marriage and family therapist. Send your questions or comments to question@soencouragement.org
or
write to P.O. Box CB-11045, Nassau, The Bahamas, or visit www.soencouragement.org or
call 242-327-1980 or 242-477-4002
