Should a parent buy a car
for his or her teenager after completing high school?
Generally, is it not a good idea to buy a car for your
child before that child has demonstrated accountability
with his or her own money.
If your teenager just
completed high school and is not going to college right
away, and not even seeking a job, then giving a car
would be devastating. If your teenager is just
starting a job and wants a car to facilitate his or her
work, then the teenager must save toward purchasing a
car from his or her pay. If a parent can afford to do
so, the parent may choose to contribute to purchasing
the car only after the teenager has demonstrated
accountability by saving on his or her own.
There might be some
exceptions to this. For example, while in college
abroad, it might be best for some teenagers to have
their own car because of where they live and the class
schedules. Some parents choose to purchase a car but
require the teenager to have a part-time job to maintain
it. Other parents require the child to pay back a
portion or all after graduating and getting a job.
Still, other parents consider it a part of the child’s
education expenses. Whatever situation might be, there
are some important factors to consider.
Here are a few questions
to think about by Lisa Aberle in the May 25, 2016
article entitled “Deals on wheels: Should you buy your
child a car? “Is it necessary and the best use of the
family budget? Would the child take care of it as well
as if the child had had to pay for it him/herself? Does
this help the child to manage money better or not?”
It is my view that just
giving a car to your teenager or young adult without
strings attached will not be teaching that person
responsibility. It is also my view that the purchasing
of an automobile is a major
investment and a necessary
luxurious item that requires accountability, discipline,
and astute money management. Let the teenager work for
the car in some form before you consider giving it to
him/her or assisting the teen in getting one.
Parents, consider this.
If you outright purchase a car for your budding adult
and did not consider care and management, you might be
digging your own financial pit. Lisa Aberle reminds
parents about the implication of doing this. She says
“This would require (parents) having a cushion in case
of unexpected repairs, and careful budgeting to make
sure the child can afford all the expenses associated
with car ownership. (WOW! This sounds suspiciously like
real life!) It does not allow them as much time to save
for other expenses.”
It is important that
parents consider the purchasing of an automobile a very
serious decision that can impact the direction of the
life of the teenager. Parents, are you prepared for
that?
Here are some
of my own questions to consider before
even thinking about purchasing a car for your high
school graduate.
-
Is your teenager living a kind of
independent, responsibly life now?
-
Does the teenager
have his/her own house key, and manages his or her
living space very well and without parental coaxing?
-
Does the teenager demonstrate a well-disciplined
behavior regarding curfew, drinking, drugs, negative
friendships, etc?
-
Are you still doing serious
parental supervision and giving instructions about
simple every-day duties, etc.?
-
Are you unable to
sleep at nights because your child is not at home yet?
-
Does your child have a part-time job during school time
or full-time during school breaks, especially summer
holidays.
If you answered negatively to all or any of
these questions, then your child should not be given a
car and perhaps not even drive one without you being in
his or her presence.
Interestingly, some
parents are quick to purchase a car for their high
school graduates only because of the convenience or
having a car or to boost their own ego? They do it
without considering the pros and the cons. It makes
them look good to their peers. Having a car can be a
major convenience but would it be a wise decision?
Letting the child take the bus might be the best
decision for the teenager to build responsibility. 
More than thirty years
ago there was a parent who purchased a new car for his
teenage son as a graduating gift from high school.
Within three months that car was mashed up and the
teenager was in trouble with the law. That was
literally thousands of dollars down the drain. The
parent regretted the decision for many years. The
teenager owned a car before he had a job. He never had
an income of his own, even though small, from summer
jobs. The seemingly wonderful, generous gift, turned
out to be a dangerous weapon.
The April 5, 2016, Wall
Street Journal has an excellent article entitled “Why
Your Teenager Shouldn’t Have a New Car” written by Ted
Jenkin. He says “Teens don’t see the cost of ongoing
maintenance. It’s likely that if you paid for the new
car, you are also picking up the tab for the insurance
and maintenance (maybe even the gas). If that’s the
case, when your child has to ultimately take over these
expenses they won’t have any idea of how to budget for
them. And what will happen if gas goes back up to $5/6/7/8 a
gallon? But if they had to pay for those costs with,
say, the $2,500 they earned from a summer job, they may
have rethought the shiny new car with the bigger price
tag–and higher accompanying expenses.”
Some parents are able to
purchase expensive cars for their teenagers. This is
not wise. Ted Jenkin says doing this gives them
unrealistic growth expectations. He says “You give
them unrealistic growth expectations. If your child is
driving a brand new Mercedes, BMW or Range Rover, what
will be the growth trajectory for getting a “better”
car? It is important to instill in them that some of
these things can be attained by hard work when they are
earned, but being gifted expensive possessions such as a
fancy car is not something that is likely to happen in
the future.”
Parents, it is important
that you teach your child the dignity of labor. Make
sure they have summer jobs, no matter how small, while
they are in high school. Teach them how to spend
wisely while they are under your supervision. Make
sure they save their money toward a goal. If they
work toward purchasing their own car, it will reduce the
chances of the car being turned into a dangerous weapon
and increase the chances of it being maintained well.
Parents, before your child owns a car, suck in your own
pride, and make sure the teen has a job and takes a bus
to his or her first job.
Barrington H. Brennen,
MA, NCP, BCCP, JP, is a marriage and family therapist. Send
your questions or comments to
question@soencouragement.org or write to P.O. Box
CB-11045, Nassau, The Bahamas, or visit
www.soencouragement.org or call 242-327-1980 or
242-477-4002.
