Technology
has provided great benefits to us over that past decades.
The television, telephone, and computer have certainly
lightened the load and provided wholesome avenues for
information, learning, and entertainment. Technology has
also made home appliances more efficient and easier to
control.
In recent years the creation of hand-held devices like the
smart phone, tablets, and iPads, has certainly added to the
myriad of devices that have made information and
entertainment easily accessible. Unfortunately, although
these tools are helpful, they also introduce different kinds
of challenges that are proving to be more damaging than
helpful to personal development, family and romantic
relationships.
The development of high definition television has introduced
a new kind of mesmerization we never thought would happen.
The sound and video are so clear and real we are lured in to
a trap of subtle hypnotism and even a kind of social
laziness. The hand-held smart phone with the ability to
literally connect to any part of the world while lying in
bed, has introduced a new reason to be alone and to lock out
family and friends around us. These new technologies, while
providing positive avenues for leaning and entertainment in
the privacy of our homes, are also locking us into dark abys
of aloneness, disconnection, and selfishness.
As
a mental health professional who specializes in relationship
issues and personal development, I did not dream that there
will be a time when people would be using electronic tools
like the hand-held smart phone to have sexual affairs and
romantic rendezvous. Twenty-five years ago, no couple came
to me with issues of texting or sexting. I did not have
individuals dealing with pornography addiction they accessed
on a computer or smart phone. Today, I receive couples in
my office every week complaining that the misuse of the
smartphone is a central theme in their relationship. Who
dreamt there would be such a thing like cyber affairs?
Less than twenty years ago, little children and teenagers
enjoyed being outdoors, climbing trees, playing ball, etc.
Today, children are stuck behind the television, smart
phones, or computers; trapped into a world of make-belief
and distorted information. Twenty years ago, the shouts of
mom or dad throughout the neighborhoods were: “Children,
where are you?” Or “It’s time to come home, children.”
Today those shouts in the home are “Turn off the
television.” “Come off the phone.” “Come out of WhatsApp,
please.”
Family dynamics have changed. There are new diseases and
increase of certain psychological or developmental disorders
that can be directly related to the overuse or misuse of
technology—television, smartphones, tablets, etc. However,
there are a few parents who refuse to allow technology to
control their children’s development. They have structured
or supervised use of some technology or avoid using them
altogether during a certain period in the child’s life.
It is clear that the misuse of these modern technologies is
doing more damage than good to our family life. In 2016,
technology specialist, Andy Crouch, was asked by The Barna
Research Group in the United States to write a book on
technology and the family. The book entitled, “The
Tech-Wise Family” has become a best seller in the
United States and has circled
around the world. In a recent article about the book, Andy
Crouch stated: “As I emphasize every time I speak about The
Tech-Wise Family, this isn’t (just) about screens, it
isn’t (just) about “limits” or “screen time,” and it
definitely isn’t (just) about the kids. It’s about all of us
asking, together, what kind of lives we want in our
households, what kind of relationships we want with the
people closest to us, what kind of people we are personally
becoming—and whether our current use of technology is
actually helping us become people of wisdom, courage and
love. The people that, on our best days, we want to be.”
I propose similar questions. Is the use of technology
helping us have better relationships and families in The
Bahamas? Is the use of technology truly helping us to be a
better nation? It has become clear to me that I need to
conduct seminars around our country to help families become
“tech-wise.” Yes, I have written several articles on the
topic over the decades. However, it is clear now that we
need more direct teaching on the topic. These seminars need
to target all
parents—single
and married, teenagers, and senior citizens. Furthermore,
it is even wise to have seminars for educators and
administrators in our educational institutions at all
levels.
The purpose of these seminars will not be to tell parents or
adults not to use technology. It will be to give them tools
to wisely use technology and teach them the dangers of
misuse or overuse.
I am happy for modern technology. Our cars are now equipped
with Wi-Fi. Our airports have monitors displaying relevant
flight information. Merchant stores are using the latest
technology for cashing goods and monitoring premises.
“Alexa” has become a wonderful new name in many homes. The
digital device, controlled by your Amazon Prime account, can
turn on your lights with voice activation, play on-demands
music, games, and news. What a wonderful new world!
However, we must become wise users of these technologies in
2019.
Perhaps, we should set times to put down the
remote.
