(1) Overt sexual psychological invasion in childhood.
Many women are recovering memories from childhood sexual molestation.
"Others are finding that the effects of continual psychological
intrusiveness can also be devastating. The danger for these women lies in
repeating their loss of control over physical and psychological
boundaries." (Rutter, P. 85) This point then brings out the
imperativeness of parents providing the proper wholesome environment for
their children. It is clear also that exploitation of a child during
childhood, whether it is psychologically or physically, covertly or
overtly, can put the child at risk to being unable to keep the boundaries
clear during adulthood. Thus, the vulnerability to sexual exploitation.
(2) Profound childhood aloneness. This is a very
serious point in the Caribbean. "Many women were not emotionally or
physically exploited during childhood, yet they were left so alone during
the childhood years that they become unselective about the quality of
intimate attention they receive as adults." The danger for such women
is that any attention at all becomes hard to refuse. This reinforces the
importance for a caring, loving family life during the childhood years.
Parents who refuse to provide the attention, time, and loving affection
for their children are putting their children at risk to being exploited
during adult life.
(3) Exploited compassion.
According to Dr.
Rutter, these women were neither invaded nor left alone. "They were
highly involved in the emotional life of their families but were given the
role of healer to the wounds of their parents and siblings." However,
this made these women vulnerable to engaging in forbidden-zone sexual
relationships as a way of taking care of the wound in the man. Dr. Rutter
in his book, "Sex in Forbidden Zone," also explains that
"when children are treated as extensions of the needs of their
emotionally injured parents, they are so used to being exploited that it
becomes a way of life. Because children are vulnerable and close to their
own injuries, they can be highly attuned to their parents’ emotional
status. They have a natural capacity for developing compassion for their
parents’ injuries. Parents can exploit this by allowing their children
to assume the role of healer. They may explain the reason so many women
think of themselves or act as if they are "saviors" to men. They
feel they have the power to prevent the men from messing up politically,
socially, or emotionally. They often feel they can change their men from a
life of smoking, drugs, and illiteracy to a "cleaner life."
These very women are highly susceptible to engaging in forbidden-zone sex.
(4) Devalued outer potential. This is a wound
that is not only inflicted on women by family and friends but by national
culture and spiritual misguidedness. It results from younger women being
told that they "belong" in the home, as the center of family
life, and not out in the world. "Such women become especially
vulnerable to forbidden-zone relationships with male teachers and mentors
who hold out the promise of helping them develop their intellectual,
artistic, and vocational talents and ask them to pay the price
sexually." This is not to suggest that women cannot or should not
choose to stay at home as a full-time parent. However it does suggest that
if that choice is based on a thwarted belief system of who she is, her
role as a woman, wife, or mother, she is at risk to being sexually
exploited by men.
