The Three Most Important Decisions to Make in
Life
By Barrington H. Brennen, April 1, 2024
PDF Format
I could never forget when I was a teenager
hearing adults say over and over that the three
most important decisions to make in life are:
God, spouse, and career. I believed it (and
still do in some way) and charted the course of
my life to make those decisions.
It was not until I was a mature adult that I
realized that something was missing in the
actual terms used—God, spouse, and career. It is
as though once you choose God, select a spouse,
and have a job, you will have set yourself on a
good path to productive living. I found this to
be misleading.
Many motivational speakers and
entrepreneurs have their own version of the
three most important decisions that lead to
success in life financially and emotionally.
However, it is clear to me that these three
decisions that are to be all-encompassing should
include:
-
Your spiritual direction
-
Your
social direction
-
Your occupational direction
Your spiritual direction.
The first decision one
has to make in life is your spiritual direction.
What or who will be your God? It is not just
choosing God. It is how you will live your life
for God and how much of your life you will give
to God. Some people choose a "god" (drugs,
pornography, car, job, etc.) and have been
fooled that they are worshiping God. This
decision can also include your emotional health
and well-being because it intertwines with one’s
spirituality. It provides the foundation and
thought processes that impact how and why you
make any decision in life. People who are
wounded emotionally or psychologically due to
dysfunctional parents or significant others in
their lives may find themselves using religion
as a crutch or cover-up. They develop a toxic
faith and often become fanatical on the one
hand, or discouraged on the other hand, because
of a misunderstanding of faith or poor
experiences in their lives.
I think you are beginning to understand that
many things impact one’s spiritual direction. I
chose the word direction because it is also
about deciding to move forward or backward, up,
or down, etc. Also, it is about your outlook on
life. Hence, choosing God is not just about the
selection of a deity, but a living a life of
balance, integrity, and authenticity. With this
understanding, it can also mean those who do not
believe in a God can still make this first
choice.
Your occupational direction. The second
important decision in life is your occupational
direction and how will you engage in service. It
is not the specific choice of career. It is how
much of your life you will commit to service to
others, and whether will you lead a life of
integrity and honesty. Will your choice of
career be a pathway that enhances your family,
neighborhood, and society? Will your choice be
about being honest with yourself and others?
Would you be able to be trusted and reliable?
Many people choose a job because they are
desperate to make money and they would do
anything if they can get away with it—Take home
from the office printer paper, paper clips,
staples, food supplies, etc. I hope you
understand that it is not just about selecting a
specific job but also about being dependable,
trustworthy, accountable, and authentic.
Your social direction. The third decision to
make in life may or may not include marriage. It
is certainly not the choice of a mate as many
have been taught. This most important decision
is about how faithful you will be to yourself if
you remain single or to your spouse if you get
married. If we say that choosing a life partner
is the most important decision, we all must make
then we can make a single adult feel bad if they
cannot find the right person to marry or choose
not to get married. Marriage is not a
requirement for Bahamian citizenship, or
becoming a church member, nor is it required for
entrance into heaven. Living a morally clean
life is.
I am aware that the selection of a lifetime
partner is a very serious one and it can impact
your life as long as you live. It can make or
break you. To make the right decision of a
life-long make there must first be healthy
self-actualization. Healthline article states:
“Self-actualization requires opening oneself up
to oneself, endeavoring to find out who one is,
what one likes, what's good and bad for oneself,
and what one's” This understanding will help one
decide whether or not there will be a mate
selection or how one will live when one chooses
to remain single or one becomes suddenly single
due to the death of a mate.
We all must make these three decisions in life.
Parents, share them with your children. Teacher,
read this article in your classrooms and have a
healthy discussion about them. Spiritual
leaders, change your perspective on life’s
decisions and present teaching that can
transform lives.
Barrington H. Brennen is a marriage and family
therapist. Send your questions or comments to
quesiton@soencouragement.org or call or text 242
477 4002 or visit
www.soencouagement.org
