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- The Unwanted Virtuous Woman
By Barrington H. Brennen, March 2004, 2022
Warning!
What you are about to read may change your life.
Making a choice
to read further will expose you to ideas
that may cause you to think and act
differently.
 or hundreds of years preachers in Christian pulpits have preached about the
Bible’s concept of a virtuous woman. They have eloquently expostulated on
perhaps the most colorful description of a woman in the Bible found in Proverbs
31:10-31. There is no other Biblical passage that makes both women and men so
proud about how God values women and their role in the home and society. The
closing verse of the passage beautifully encapsulates the virtuous woman with
these poignant words:
"Many women do noble things, but you surpass
them all. Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the
Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works
bring her praise at the city gate."
(New International Version).
Have you ever wondered why there is no specific passage about the "virtuous
man?" As mentioned in my previous article, "The Unwanted Virtuous
Man," read Proverbs 31:10-31 and turn it into the "virtuous man."
You should have read Proverbs 31:10-31 already to help you better understand
the information in this article. Firstly, the writer of the "virtuous
woman" (wife) begins the passage with a question: "Who can find a
virtuous wife?" When we compare this question with the final verse of the
passage, it is clear that there were wives at that time who were not virtuous or
noble. Secondly, note that the passage uses the word "wife" because
traditionally all women were required to get married. However, it will not do an
injustice to the passage to use the words woman or wife interchangeably.
Thirdly, the word "virtuous" can be substituted with the word
"noble" indicating that the scope of the passage is not limited to the
traditional sexual or "feminine" concept of a woman. Fourthly, the
characteristics mentioned could not be a description of a single woman. We can
rightly ask the question, how could a woman do all these things? The passage
seems to be a composite picture of the freedom and rights of women, how God
values them, and how they should be valued by their husbands.
- PURPOSE OF THE PASSAGE
I am sure you have heard the saying that "a woman’s place is in the
home." I am suggesting that a proper study of "the virtuous
woman" in Proverbs 31 gives us the idea that a woman’s role is not only
in the home. Let me conjecture that another statement to balance the picture is
"a man’s role includes also being in the home." Does that make us
feel uncomfortable? What I am attempting to do in this article is to compare
Proverb 31:10-31 with Ephesians 5:21-25, and to examine the role of women
mentioned in both passages. Why am I doing this? Because for too long ministers
of the gospel, teachers, community leaders, motivational speakers, and others
have talked about what a good woman should be by quoting Proverbs 31:10-31, but
prefer our women to live the restricted lifestyle of Paul’s Ephesians 5 women.
In other words, I don’t believe that we are ready for the kind of woman
described in Proverbs 31. Before you get fed up and put the paper down read
further. What you will read might shock you.
MEANING OF VIRTUOUS
Note that it is only in the King James Version of the Bible that the word
"virtuous" is used in Proverbs to describe women. In fact some
translations say "Who can find a good wife?" A better word, as used in
more accurate modern translations, is the word "noble." The word
"virtuous" gives us the idea that the passage may be dealing mostly
with the sexual behavior of women. This is not so. When we examine the passage
we can understand why the word noble is used. The word noble forces us to think
about women differently. The Hebrew word "Hayil" translated
"noble" in Proverbs 31:10 has various shades of meaning. They are
"capability," "skill," "substance,"
"valor." In fact, it is usually used to describe military might in the
Old Testament (Exodus 14:4, 9, 28; Numbers 31:14; 2 Samuels 8:9; Isaiah 10:14;
Micah 4:13). Interestingly, another common usage of the Hebrew word "Hayil"
is "force" and "strength." It is usually used to
describe the strength of mind and body of an individual. We see this in Ruth
3:11 when Boaz speaks to
 Ruth. He says
"I know you are of noble character." (NIV) A clear interpretation would
be "I know you are one of strength in mind and body." What a beautiful
way to describe a woman. Even the Greek equivalent "Aret’," as
found in Philippians 3:11, gives one the idea of "force" and "strength." This passage lists the things that help to build mind and
body. "Whatever is true, noble, right, admirable . . . . if there be any virtue,
and if there be any praise, think on these things." (KJV) A clear
interpretation of the passage would be " . . . . if there is anything to
strengthen mind and body, think on these things."
Imagine beginning the passage in Proverbs, traditionally called "The
virtuous Wife," by using the more accurate words mentioned in the previous
paragraph. Then it would read: "Who can find a woman of strength in mind
and body?" or "Who can find a woman of skill?", or "Who can
find a woman of substance and capability?" These interpretations certainly
place a new light on the passage. It helps us to think of women not as sexual
property, as the word "virtuous" tends to denote, but as persons of
great mental and physical ability.
- DESCRIPTION OF A NOBLE WOMAN
With this clarification, let us see how the writer of Proverbs 31 describes a
"woman of skill and strength." The husband fully "leans" on
her or fully trusts her. Not only does the man’s wife make clothing and buy
food, she also engages in real estate transactions, viniculture business, and
cottage industry. Both the husband and the children of this woman praise her for
her industriousness. Her earning power allows her husband to be "known in
the city gates and take his seat among the elders of the land" (verse 23).
Here are three outstanding roles of this noble woman described in Proverbs
31:16, 26 and 27: "She considers a field and buys it . . ." "She
speaks wisdom . . ." "She watches over the affairs of her
household." I specifically mentioned these points because these are exactly
what women in the Apostle Paul’s times could not do. These are also a few of
the things Bahamian women legally could not do less than sixty years ago, and
are still not allowed to do in some countries today.
THE TWO WOMEN
It is always important to understand the language of the passage, the times
in which the author writes, and to whom he writes before we can truly understand
the meaning of a Biblical passage. During the times in which Proverbs 31 was
written, women of that culture were able to do many things. Although things were
not so rosy for them, there were laws that gave them much freedom allowing them
to go to the market with their husbands, own property, vote, enter into
discussions with male leaders, govern in the communities, etc. However, one
thousand years later, during the times of the Ephesians, the Roman and Greek
laws, but more so the Jewish laws, severely restricted women. Women could not
get an education. They could not own property. They could not sue or be sued. In
fact women were considered property themselves. In Ephesus, the Jewish law
prevented women from being seen in public with their husbands. They had very
little rights and power, and thus were of little value to society. Paul was
ahead of his time in trying to level the play field for men and women of his day
by appealing to the personal and spiritual integrity of the men in Ephesus.
 HUSBANDS LOVE YOUR WIVES
When Paul states in Ephesians 5:23 and 25: "For the husband is the head
of the wife as Christ is the head of the church," and "Husbands, love
your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself for her . . ."
he is actually empowering women in that context. It is my view that the Apostle
Paul is not stating that the man is to be head of his wife.
He was addressing a common practice, laws, and belief system that was
anti-women at the time.
Women in Ephesians had no
"substance" as the noble women in Proverbs 31. Only the men had the
power and voice in the home, church, community, and government. Therefore, Paul
needed men to review their concept of womanhood and treat them differently. He
challenged men to uplift women socially, morally, and legally . The men had
to be the "head of the home," because their women where mere female
"slaves" restricted by the laws of the land. Thus, Paul is saying to
these "heads of homes:" "If you treat your women the way you know
Christ treats the people of God, then you will be empowering them and elevating
them to the position I once gave them at creation—your equal partner. This is
the true meaning of love." You must understand that Paul was really
challenging the law of the land. However, instead of directly discussing the law
itself, he skillfully appeals to men, with a proper understanding of their
relationship with Jesus, to make a difference through their treatment of women
in their homes. The Greek philosopher, Aristotle’s teachings, which strongly
influenced the Greek society and all of the Western world, stated that "to
be born a woman is a divine punishment, for a woman is halfway between a man and
an animal." This is exactly what the men Paul was speaking to in Ephesians
believed. Men, perhaps we should rethink the reasons why we are insisting
that we be "head of the home" especially when our women now have equal
opportunity.
THE PARADOX
What type of woman would you want your wife to be? Would it be the woman
described with the freedom, rights, and equality mentioned in Proverbs 31, or
the Ephesians woman who had no rights, privileges, or freedoms. I am suggesting
that we love to talk about the "noble woman" in Proverbs
31, who was a woman of strength in mind and body; but we prefer to have
the weak, uneducated, restricted-by-law woman who lived in Ephesus. I am
suggesting that many men still have a long way to go in letting go of the
concept of the traditional woman of Ephesians and accepting the liberated woman
of Proverbs who "speaks wisdom and gives faithful instruction." Many
men forget that Bahamian laws, since 1962 have freed women from slavery of past
traditions, giving them the right to own property, vote, get an education, state
their opinion freely, and help build the community. We cannot go back now. I am
suggesting that the Apostle Paul is asking our Bahamian men not to seek
to be "the heads of the homes" but instead to seek to
"Love their wives as Christ loved the church." God made both men and
women to be equal partners. Men and women were designed to have equal voice,
power, vote, access, and opportunity in this world we live in.
Men, are you ready for the "noble woman of
strength, skill, and capability?"
Go
to Online Questions Email:
question@soencouragement.org
The Unwanted Virtuous Man
Barrington H. Brennen is a marriage and family therapist and
board certified clinical psychotherapist, USA. Send your
questions or comments to question@soencouragement.org or
write to P.O. Box CB-11045, Nassau, The Bahamas, or visit www.soencouragement.org or
call 242-327-1980 or 242-477-4002
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